What a Day!

Holy Moses! It was one heck of a day, I was up early, after hardly sleeping, and was off finishing the details for my little sisters bridal shower. I cannot believe my little sis, is gettin' hitched. It was lots of fun, I made muddy buddies(best thing ever!) fruit kabobs, and some cupcakes.

I still think my gift was the best, who can go wrong with embrassing your sister in front of her future in-laws, with some langerie. She was just about the same shade of red, as the cute little teddy I got her.

I also spent the after noon, with two of my best friends, J and B, seriously, These ladies rock! They are helping me work on the face of blog. Oh speaking of which, I have a new name picked out, and will be changing my domain address, but no worries not for a week or so... hopefully!

So for today, I am grateful for memories, moments that are insignificant, and sometimes meanless, are the moments that I will remember always. Like making dumb faces as my mother takes the 10th picture of my sister and I. Or laughing so hard my side hurts, after I tell my friends the 'Condom Fight' my husband and I had. Which is also a long story, and will be saved for a later date and time.. I know you are probably wonder, "What the heck does an infertil want with condoms?" lol it's not what you think.

So for moments far and in between, that make your heart swell with joy, and for people who bring you those moments. Thanks!

Also a congratulations to my baby sis, I love you Jo, I cannot wait, less than two weeks!

Quite Voices

Today, is one of those days. We are a week into the new year, I think by now we should all now how the new year is going to be, and how we are going to be spending our time. Although 2010 was an espeically hard year, not only for myself, but for some other wonderful woman it has been just as hard. This morning, I was broken hearted, as I read my good friends Facebook status, yesterday, she lost her 5 month old daughter. Not even a week into the new year, and their lives were shattered.

It's moments like this, when although I am struggling with infertility, and I know that feeling of loss, it is never to the magnitude of losing your child. I am surrounded by such strong individuals, and I know that they bless my life, by sharing their strengths with me.

So for today, I am grateful for perspective, for knowing that the Lord sometimes plays a mysterious role in our lives, and we my not always fully understand that role, it is there for a reason.

For all my friends who have lost their childre, and loved ones in 2010, know that they still love you, and are watching over you.

To my best friend J, the loss of your newborn child, before she was even able to take a breath, you are an amazing woman, your strength gives me inspiration.

I am grateful for so many things in my life, and I am so grateful I choose to write about my gratitude in 2011.

I hope the start to your new year is everything that you have wanted it to be, if not, you have until the end of January to really get the ball rolling!

Shame on Me!

I know, I know... I was all proud of my self on the 4th because I had been doing so well, and then I go and blow it, what a shmuck.... So, for today I gotta pick two things to be grateful for. Which I happen to have two such things that I am currently for.

The first one being my family. For me, that includes a lot of people, even ones that I am not technically related too.. I still love them just as equaly. But to my family, I don't know where I would be without my mother, who loved me, and managed to put up with me as a teenager. Also, to my favorite sister Emily Jo, you pretty much are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without ya.

Seriously, I couldn't ask for a greater family, and although they have a few quirks, they are my family, and I wouldn't trade them for the world!

The second, would be my friends, I truly have amazing friends, and I am so grateful for the things that they have taught me, and shared with me. I continually grow from them being in my lives. Nothing brings me greater joy, than sitting around my kitchen table laughing my pants off. You know the kind of laughing where you are tearing up a little bit, and you piddled in your pants a little... Yeah that kinda of laughing.

I love these people in my life, I love knowing I have someone to turn to no matter what is going on, I have a shoulder to cry on, and someone who understands me.. Even if they are directly dealing with infertility. They always still understand loss, and grieving. I love my family, my friends, and everyone who chooses to share their lives with me. Even if it is for just a brief moment, in passing, facebook, or blogging. I truly am so blessed to have YOU, in my life!

Wow, I haven't given up yet!

I am alctually fairly impressed with myself considering I have managed to keep up with the blog. Mainly because the new year started, I went back to school, and to top all that off I am combating sickness. I know and it's rather depressing I had to turn down my bff, and Zumba tonight. Curse you sickness(shakes fist)

Although today, I found something that I am truly grateful for. That would be education. Without it, I would not be able to pursue my dream of a Forensic Investigator, and without education, those teaching me, would not be able to do so.

I took my midterm today, needless to say it pretty much sucked.. I managed to fail my first one, but really it was on terrorism.. Who wouldn't flunk it.. Oh that's right, everyone BUT me... But I am much happier with how my second one turned out, A- on my criminal evidence class! WOOT!

I do realyl well sometimes, and honestly this is the very first test, I have EVER failed... I was rather dissapointed in myself, and thankfully, my teacher loves me, and is willing to work out some extra credit with me.

So that's what it is folks, to education, to the all the teacher that put up with me, cause heaven knows I was the kid with ADHD, that wouldn't shut up, or stay in my seat. Also, to Mrs. Hook, my crazy as hell art teacher, whole was so creative, made up her own rap lyrics to Eminem's, Real Slim Shady. (Oh man talk about one of the most awkward things you've ever seeen!) But seriously, love that lady!

I have learned a lot from many different people in my life, and different things they have taught me. Drama: Only encouraged my awesome dulisional self, Choir: more encouragement of insanity. Art: My second love* sigh * Debate: Really? They should have put me in this class so much sooner. I learned to have a voice, and at last a REAL opinion, and a back bone.

There is a huge list of people who have contributed to my life. I am gald they were a part of it, even if it were just a momnet. To more learning, more en deavours, and obviously, more ADHD moments.. Oh something shiny!

Continuing Gratitude!

Well today was rather uneventful, I spent the majority of the day being rather sick, and held up on the couch. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who surprised me, and brought home the movie Knight and Day, from the redbox. Needless to say, some days he really rocks!

So as I make my way through my terrible stomach cramps I am trying to decide what I am really grateful for today. Today I would like to kick the bucket to my in-laws. Dave and Shelly, If you knew my in-laws you would be way jealous of me. They are so thoughtful, and really inspiring. Especially cause my mother-in-law is a lot like me, she makes me feel really special when she is over dramatic about her reaction, even if it's just something really tiny that I have done, I feel like a little kindergartner showing her my finger paintings. Okay, so maybe not like that, but truly I am so grateful for them, they set a good example for me, and my husband, and without them, things would be a lot harder for us while we were both attending school.

I don't know what I could possibly ever do to show them my appreciation, but I love them dearly, and only hope that one day I can be nearly as cool as them when I grow up!

Day Numer 2

Today has been kind of hum, drum, day. I woke up this morning, with a terrible sore throat, and feeling very under the weather, I was also dreading the fact that I was believing today was the last day of my winter vacation, and was not looking forward to going back to school tomorrow. I was surprised when I picked up my homework sheet, and noticed that I did not have to go back to school til Tuesday. YES! No, this is not what am going to write about, but it did make my day a whole lot better knowing I got one more day of rest.

However, I did want to write about how grateful I was for my husband, but since I consider that topic one of my greatest to be thankful for, I would give it more thought, and properly prepare for it.

For today's thought, I am very grateful for modern technology. This covers many areas of my life, especially today. For instance, the knowledge to have developed medicine that will not cure my body, but sure as heck make it feel a little better, and help ease my discomfort. The proper developement to have clean drinking water, or even the invention of electricity, and dare I say allow me to use my computer, or my ipod, or my life line(cell phone. Which reminds me, about a week or so ago, we had a terrible snow storm here in Utah. It was bad, it came down for hours, and within that short time, we probably got over a foot of snow. That same evening, at around three in morning, the power went out. In the few hours of it being out, I was reminded how much we truly depend on electricity to keep things going. Light in our house, warmth from the furnace, or even to keep the water warm so that I could take a bath.

So a toast to the one thing, that we will all be slaves to, forever and ever. But, in this one moment, I can be a little grateful that I don't have to live in the dark, or go with out my ipod or my cell phone(heaven forbid).

I would however like to point out at least one good thing that has come from the developement of technology, that would be any product that helps our planet, i.e. solar panels, windmills. We could all be a little more green!

Okay Bleeps, I am gonna go back to bed, maybe make some hot cider, and curl up and sleep a little. Enjoy your Sunday, and tomorrow is the first real day of the New Year!

Here We Go...

And so it starts... I think I just piddled in my pants a little. I cannot believe, a whole year has already come and gone, this time last year, I was making New Year Resolutions, that I managaed to only keep a short period of time. I promised myself last year, that I would lose some weight, and in doing so, Jon and I would concieve. I could have in no way prepared myself for the path that was laid before me this past year.

The many doctor appointments, all the test, and ultimately being diagnosed with PCOS, and a unicornuate uterus. Things I would never wish upon my worst enemy, and sadness, that at sometimes seems so hard to over come, even months after the fact.

I want this year to be different, I want to make my own path of happiness, I want to find something else that provides some kind of joy in my life. Obviously, like any trying to conceive crazy lady, getting pregnant, and being a mother is something I will never stop wanting. But, for once, it would be nice to want something else.

So today, for my first day of many, I am grateful for a second chance, for new beginnigs, and for being lucky enough to find the reset button in life sometimes. I've left a lot of things behind for 2010, a year, a decade of things, memories, and heart ache.

I hope this lays the foundation for the nexy ten years of my life, for new goals, new dreams, and complete happiness.

This year I did make a few goals, and thankfully I started them before 2011 began..

1. Lose weight, I would ultimately love to lose 30 lbs.

2. Graduate.

3. Keep Promises to others, as well as myself.

I pretty much decided to keep this list simple... I have ADHD sometimes, and figured it would be best to humor my short attention span.

Well Bleeps, this is my journey, and hopefully before the end of my month, I have 31 different things to be grateful for, a new look for my blog, and looking forward to the rest of 2011.

Feel inspired, take moments to breath, and always find joy in the little things.