Ova-October

Just Well, I thought my title was catchy enough. We are now 8 days into October, and since my last post I can now provide a few updates.. yeah! I can proudly say I started this cycle all by myself. Following my post on cd 34 I started without the assistance of Progesterone. The cramps were not as bad, and I was just grateful that my body did something! I spent the first portion of my cycle, coming unglued.

I called my Dr's office the morning after starting my cycle, to inform them I needed my next round of clomid, and the progesterone suppository we had had previously talked about. I then spent the majority of the day in bed, as working graves has been sleeping all day. However I woke up around 5, and good thing I did, cause my Dr's office called me back..

"Hello?"

"Is this Sarah?"

"Yes."

"Sarah, I spoke with K.P. and she told me that she cannot prescribe the 150mg of clomid to you as she had originally agreed to do.."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm am so sorry, you might be able to call tomorrow, and see if you can get in to see one of the doctors before cd 3, other than that, there isn't much we can do.."

"So you're saying, I just have to take the 100mg, and hope it works?! We are basically walking into October just wasting a cycle!"

This is when I started crying, and the nurse began to ramble. I was so mad, and I seriously dragged myself around the rest of the night, just devastated. I had 2 days to try to get in to see one of the doctors, or it was going to be a wasted cycle. I tell you what, the next morning I jumped outta bed so fast and was on the phone by 8:05.. I wasn't messin' around. By 9.. so much for being up early.. I finally decided to leave a message as they had not even turned on their phones. By 10:30, when no one called back, I called them. This time the receptionist answered, I gave her the low down, and as much as I could be on my knees over the phone, begged her to find an appointment for me. She asked if I would hold, so she could go talk to K.P., and one of the doctors. longest 5 mins of my life. She finally gets back on the phone, and declares that the doctors will make an exception this one time-PHEW!!- but the want to see me later this month. I can do that! Just give the crazy lady her pills!

After that mayhem, I then had the worst time getting my progesterone suppository from the pharmacy, as it needed to be compounded. I am not gonna say which pharmacy it was, but I can tell you this much. I am never go back to the place. It was awful! And I got the run around, and ended up paying more than what I wanted to, or even should have.. *Shakes fist*

It was like everything was working against this month. between the doctors office, the pharmacy, I didn't think I was even gonna get a chance to take the stupid clomid! Isn't it enough that I am infertile? Do we really have to make it that much harder?

Anyway, we are now at cd 14 into my cycle, and I can happily say I have officially Ovulated.

*THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY TEST!!!! IT'S AN OVULATION TEST!!! *

So, this line isn't super impressive.. the camera didn't do it justice. But, Between the cervical mucus, and my cervix positioning, I think it's a safe bet. But cd 21 blood draw will be the deciding factor.. Here is hoping right?

As for the now sugar thing. It's going great! I have lost 12 lbs since I have started.. It was 14, but I had a little bit too much of the carbs variety the other days. So, I gotta do better about that. But, I feel really motivated to stick to this, and be healthy.. I can't wait!

Alright, I'll let ya get back to whatever you were doing, and I am gonna sit here, and twiddle my thumbs in my two week wait. Wish me luck!

No excuses!

Alright, alright.. I know.. I am bad..
I went almost the entire summer without blogging once.. and I bet you are all wondering what the heck I have been up to, or maybe even wondering if I was still alive.. No worries, I am still kickin'.

We have had such an amazing summer, and cannot believe it is almost over! We finalized our adoption.. Hurray! We celebrated Izzebel's first birthday.. We got to visit with family that we haven't seen in ages.. and last but not least.. we got to take our sweet baby girl to the temple and be sealed to her..
It was truly amazing.. I cried the whole time.. Like I do in everything else.. What can I say.. I am a big ol' cry baby!-ask my husband..

We also, went to the water park, one too many times, Izzebel took her first swimming lessons, her first steps, and started saying a few words. We adore her, and cannot imagine life without her. I will post a few pictures in the next few days of everything we got to do this summer!

Also, this summer.. I started a new job working graves, it's hard getting use to staying up all night, but I am liking it so far. We also started looking into regulating my cycle and getting my body to ovulate.. I am still taking my metformin, and I am currently on my second cycle of clomid.. I do however have to say, that journey is a whole other post just because there is so much to tell, that just breezing over it right now, just wouldn't be fair..

I am loving life right now. I have a wacky little family, and we aren't perfect by any means.. But I love them like crazy. I am so glad that we are finally over with our long ordeal, and that for the first time in a long time, I feel normal. Now I am wrapped up in looking forward to Holidays, snow, baking, making memories with my sweet little family. I love adoption, and I love what it has done for our family, and I am so grateful for this whole experience.

Thank you for reading, and for being patient with me, as I slowly get back into the swing of things. There will be more post, more FREQUENT post.. and lots of good things to come..


I can't wait..

Envious..

First off.. I have to explain my title.. I am having birth mother envy.. I see and read all the cute other posting on Facebook, and blogs about adoptive families, with amazing Birthmoms.. and I really wish that Izze's birth mom had been that awesome.. It makes me sad, to think that over a year ago, we had made so many plans, wanted to include her in so many things, and now.. all we have are broken hearts over the relationship we will never have.. I am just hopeful, and have learned so much for the future. The things we want for our children, and the relationships with their birth mothers are key.. We have definately made a list of things we want for the future and how we can better our relationships with birthmoms.. and always, always know that honesty is key.

Alright, on to more eventful things, now that I have gotten that off my chest. My husband and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday.. Needless to say it makes me one proud wifey to think I made it so far with my sweet husband!

He is my best friend, my gaming buddy, my sidekick, and the best person to take on adventures.. He keeps me grounded when I get a little out of hand, and I am so glad he takes me the way I am..

I love you baby with all my heart.

In other news, we have postponed baby making for now. We have both just come to a cross roads, and feel that having our own biological children will not be a possibility. Which I know for some people is disheartening to hear, espeically since we are still young. But, tomorrow is another day. Right? I am however working on regualting my cycle, and losing weight. If I can't have babies I might as well be fit and sexy right?

Here is to another year baby, of long talks, holidays with our daughter, and enjoying each other. To finishing school, starting our dreams, and improving who we are. So that way when 4 years comes around, we can look back and be proud of what we have accomplished.

just a year..

It's just a year... that's all. But, a year from today seems like a life time.. But to say a year ago today, goes by in the blink of an eye.. Just over a year ago, I was counting down to a special surprise.. What you may now know as days before my little girl was born. In less than a week, that little girl will celebrate her first birthday. I cannot believe that a year has come and gone, and we are on the doorsteps of a new year. So many things have happen. I have experienced pure joy, such as the first time I held Izze, and I have experienced the worst heart break of my life.. The moment we handed Izze to our attorney and he walked away with her.. and then I have experienced the Lords hand in my life in one sweet tender mercy, and miracle. The moment I discovered Izze had been removed from the birthmothers custody, just two days later, and they placed her back in my arms.

My step father was smart enough, the day we lost Izze in November, he took photos. I had not seen these photos, until a few weeks ago.. To see the sorrow on all my families faces, I couldn't even make it through all of the photographs without crying. I know this story ended happily, but at the time, I was convinced I would never see her again, and those emotions come back. I realize more than ever how completely blessed we have been, and how much the Lord intended for Izze to be a part of our eternal family.

Lately, I have been blessed again, by seeing how much this year has truly affected my family around me. I continuelly hear the words " We didn't think it would happen, but that little girl was meant to be in our family".. I know this, I knew this the moment I laid eyes on her, the moment I held her against my chest, even the day we lost her, and I walked away from the court house empty handed, convinced I would never see her again. The very next morning, I looked at Jon, I said "I don't know how, but she will be back in our home within the week" I could never imagine, it would happen less than 48 hours after we had lost her.

Over a year ago, I was concerened with the thought that our family may not be able to love an adopted child.. Would she be excepted? Today, I look at that little girl, and I don't see an adopted child, I don't see a little girl who is not biologically related to me.. I see my daughter. I see my miracle. Sometimes I even forget she is adopted.. That is by far my favorite part.

To my friends and my family, your testamonies of faith and love have truly overwhelmed me. I cannot begin to tell you the gratitude I feel in my heart to have your example in my life. I feel like this year has gone by so quickly, though at the time, it felt like it was dragging. It's gone. the termoil, the stress.. All we have now is the rest of our lives. There were many nights I felt isolated, and alone, but now as the darkness is clearing, I can finally see that I was not alone. There was an army of people behind me. Praying, and fasting with us. Living in this moment with us. I am speechless, I know that the prayers of many move mountains..

We are now, moving forward with our plans to bless Izze, and to have her sealed to our family. I just finished her blessing gown.. I cried a little as I looked at what I had done.. I cannot believe in just a few months she will wear this, and then I will FINALLY feel like this is over.. that the year and some change we waited.. will be over.. We can finally begin our happily ever after..

It's just a year.. just one.

what would you be willing to experience, to go through, to reach your happily ever after?

it's just the beginning.. finally..

 We made it.. I don't think I have ever been so excited for any one day in my life-well minus my wedding day, but lets face it.. this one had a rather large build up.. We finalized our adoption today. After a long battle to get here, and with many ups and down, and multiple delays. We are finally, OFFICIALLY a family.. I only mean official by legal standards.. I already knew we were a family otherwise.

We were up bright and early getting ready.. I knew Izze would need a bath so I went in and distrubed her slumber..

As you can clearly tell.. she wasn't one bit upset about getting up so early. I think she could feel the excitement.. It's not everyday mom gets her up this early AND lets her take a bath! Needless to say we were ready like twenty mins before we even needed to leave. She was wearing the most adoarble blue dress. It looked amazing on her. And her hair peice matched. Oh too perfect.

Here is Izze with the Judge finalizing the adoption and making it official. Izze loved this part. Mainly because she got to play with the pen, quickly followed by the judge letting her play with the gavel.

During the whole ordeal, I was a little anxious, nervous that some other hiccups would pop up, even as the judge spoke, and acknowledge that as difficult as it was back in November to give Izze back to her birth mother, the judge was only following the law. The judge, then proceeded to tell us, that making that decision was not easy, that she could see how emotionally devastated we were when she made the ruling.. But, she said she will never forget what the court clearks told her the day we got Izze back.. The clerks had informed the judge that Izze's face lit up when the dcfs worker came around the corner and she saw me for the first time in almost 48 hours. Of course I cried even more.

I feel so over whelmed with emotions today, and cannot believe that we are finally done. That things are official, and our little Izze is finally a Mathie..

This was such an amazing experience. I feel so blessed to have been given this opportunity, and that my friends and family could be there to support us today. There was so much love in that courtroom. Compared to the one time when we sat so grief striking as the judge told us we had to return Izze.. The Lord truly works miracles. I have never seen the Lords hand more powerfully than in other time in my life.

I want to share one more thing and then I will leave my computer behind for the day and go snuggle my girl.

A few days after we lost Izze, and then she was so quickly returned to us. I was filling out her baby book we have, and I realized I had never looked up the mean of Izze's name.. Believe me, when I say how shocked I was to discover the meaning of her name was: God's Promise..

As I read those words I knew the Lord had intended for this little girl to be part of our family. Why else would he allow for so many trials, followed by so many blessings.

We love you Izzebel.

I am so happy to be your mommy, now, and always.

temple blessings

*WARNING* This is a post dedicated to my religion- the LDS faith. Here within are personal views, pictures, and other personally important items regarding the LDS church. If you do not agree with and or appose these beliefs I would ask that you not read it, and would also ask that any negative comments be kept to your self. Thank you.



I recently had a reader bring to my attention that they knew little of the mormon faith, and that more information would be appreciated.. I guess that was bad on my part to assume that the moajority of my readers were either LDS or at least familar with the LDS faith.. So, for those of you who are interested, here is my post on my faith, Mormonism.

I was born in 1987, (don't worry this will probably be a long post, but I will try to make it as interesting as possible..) As I was saying, 1987. My parents had been married over 7 years at this point and had already given birth to 4 children, although only 2 were living. My mother was raised Catholic, and my father was raised LDS. My mother would tell me years later, when she and my father married that she had told him in the beginning she refused to convert to the Mormon church.. less than 6 years after marrying him she would be baptized into the faith, and a year later they would go through the San Diego Temple..

My mother later discribed her experience to me, sharing that she was convinced she had joined a cult.. Alright, probably not the best statement to share. Since a lot of people already believe we are in fact a cult.. But, it's the truth. Not the cult part, but how my mother felt. It was more of confusion, and not that she was scared. But, as the years have passed and my mother has been able to return to the temple, these feelings have become that of faith, and love.

The purpose of the temple, is to seal on earth as in heaven. Marriages take place here, baptism for the dead takes place here, and those entering the temple can enter after being proved worthy, to receive their endowments so that they may obtain the blessings and promises set forth by the Lord so that we may return to heaven.

Although, returning to live in the precense of our Savior is not restricted to attending the temple.. It insures you receive those blessing you have been promised.

The purpose of the temple is for us to go and be close to the Lord. Our own little heaven on earth. We go to make and keep sacred covenants, and to receive powerful blessings. It is the one place I can go and feel complete peace, and feel even closer to the Lord, that perhaps he might hear my prayers better.. Although that last statement is just a personal feeling, the Lord can hear your prayers regardless of where you are. The temple plays an essential role in our lives, in God's plan and in our eternal happiness.

Almost 3 years ago, I attended the temple with my husband. With our close family and friends, we entered into the sealing room. We knelt across the altar, and took one anothers hand. We were then sealed for time and eternity.

   

                   

Now, if we were normal people.. lol, if my body would do normal things. If we were to have our own biological children, our children would be born under the covenant. Meaning they would already be fortunate enough to receive some of the blessing of the temple, because they were already part of an eternal family. However, Izze is not our biological child, but that doesn't matter. Because in a few short months we will go back to the temple.. We will kneel across the altar from one another, and take each others hand once more, and then Izze will be placed on the altar next to us. We will then be sealed as an eternal family. What is bound on earth is also in heaven.

This is truly such an amazing experience. The temple blessings are real, and I can testify of the love I feel every time I enter. Either for myself, or to do the work for those that are deceased. It is an amazing place. I would implore that anyone who has never been to find a temple open house near you, and walk through before the temple is dedicated. It is not a secret what takes place in the temple.. but because what takes place is sacred..

If you wish to learn more about the LDS church you can do so HERE.

Anticipation..

We have less than a month before we go before a judge and sign the papers.. Less than a month till the state of Utah will recognize Jon and I as Izze's parents- Legally!! It will be legit! This feeling that I have in my heart, will be perminant, and on paper!! Is it sad that, I am already planning her 'gotcha' party, and I am already planning her blessing day, her birthday, and the day we intend to be sealed to her...

Every time I picture Jon and I kneeling across the alter from one another, and them bringing Izze to us, I get a little choked up.. I know when that day comes, I will be a mess. Thank goodness I have already invested in waterproof mascara..

I have had so many plans sitting on the back burner for so long, that I can hardly believe that they will soon be put into motion. The fabric I have waiting to sewn into her blessing/sealing dress. that I have been hiding in a drawer out of fear of it being a wasted purchase.. I can finally sit down to put some thread through it, and complete my vision.. My little girl will be walking by then. No tiny infant to swaddle in dad's arms as he blesses her.. But, it doesn't matter. Regardless of how old she is, in the end we will be an eternal family.

And yes, that will be on paper too. To everyone I have seemed to ignored these past few months.. I apologize. I haven't been the best friend that I could be, and I have slacked in a lot of places. But, forgive me, there were things on my mind, burdens on my shoulders, and now I am free of the shackles that bound my wrist, and my heart.

I love this new journey that we are about to start. I know I am Izze's momma in my heart, and now it feels all brand new again, because I can look at her and say. I AM your momma, FOREVER!!! I love this little girl, and I love how complete she makes our family. I cannot imagine my life without her. I love how much my husband loves her, and what a wonderful father he is. I know in the beginning he was so scared of messing something up. He is the youngest of 3 boys and had no experience when it came to babies. But, I promised him that Izze was too young to know the difference.. that and she didn't really have anything to compare his parenting style to.. lol. He would roll his eye, and then I would reassure him, his mother and I would be there the entire time to hold his hand. He has done better than I think he ever anticipated, and I am pretty sure he has no idea how much I enjoy watching him love, and teach our little girl, and how every time my heart swells with love.

Again thank you everyone for your support, and above all I wish to share my love and gratitude for the Lord and his hand that he played in our journey along the way. I have been humbled, and blessed, and my testimony has grown with the things I have witnessed and experienced.

With eager hearts and goals in site.. I am eager to share the next few months with you, and to bring you up to date in May. Thank you for your patience.

I didn't realize that.

So, today I was talking a good friend of mine, who is going through her own infertility process. She has been blessed with a beautiful little boy. But, like more woman in our situation. When you know the pain of infertility, having a baby in your arms never changes the fact that you know additional children may be a challange.

As I was attempting to comfort her, I started to think about our journey through this whole process. The things that I have learned and experienced, and of course the heart break that followed every time.

But since we started this journey almost 3 years ago, things have changed. I went through somethings that I never have could have imagined. I witnessed things that should never have occuried. This changed how I saw the world, and how I chose to deal with my inferility.. I knew I had felt this way, but it wasn't till today when I typed these words on the screen of my computer, that I finally realized that I am okay with my infertility.


"There is a reason you cannot have children. The Lord has other plans. But if your heart is open, the children that are meant to be in your family will come to you. Everyones journey has a reason, and sometimes the journey your children take to get to you may not always be the one you had planned. But, regardless they are yours and love you just as much. An eternal family is made up of people who love each other, not if they are biologically related"

A huge impact has been made on me. I embrace my infertility, and take pity on it.. I count every blessing that adoption brings into my life, and I know that there are more children who are waiting to come to our family. I know that the power of the priesthood, and through temple sealings, we are an eternal family. I am so very blessed to know this.

Everyone has a different journey, and story that is waiting to be written. Coming to terms with your trials is something that must be done in your own time. Don't force it, and beautiful things will happen when you can be healed.

I don't usually do this, and for those of you who want you're welcome to skip this part-

But, I want to bare my testimony, I believe in the Lords plan, and although sometimes I am weak, and I get frustrated with the things in my life that I feel are unfair.. I have the understanding in my heart that the Lord gave me this trial for a reason. I am capable of loving any child. This I know. I also know that the Lord always keeps his promises, we must be patient enough to receive them. I am so grateful for my family, regardless of how it's made.

We may be imperfect, our family may be patched together, and have different people and faces. But we are beautiful, and we love each other.

I hope the things in your life that you feel are missing, you can find peace for the reason. Or lack of reason.

Let them..er.. eat cake?

Alright, it happened... something I just couldn't even believe till I saw it with my own eyes.. My sister and her husband celebrated their first wedding anniversary just a few weeks ago. Well, my mother was kind enough to save their cake top for them, and called to remind them that the cake top was still in her freezer in case they wanted it... Or well-at least my mother thought she had saved my sisters wedding cake top, in her freezer..

Upon arriving and investigating the cake, I got a phone call from my sister asking if by chance it was mine and my husbands cake top, that she wouldn't really tell, and needed some help figuring it out. I asked a few questions, and decided it was best she brought it to me..

After peeling back the tin foil.. the 4 layers of saran wrap.. and realizing that the cake was in fact covered with foundant and not butter cream frosting... it was discovered that it was in fact my wedding cake toppper... from my first wedding. Over 5 years ago... Don't get me wrong. I am sure the cake was wonderful.. and at one point tasted wonderful. But I was not about to eat it.

We had a good laugh.. contimplated about what to do with the cake top that weighed like 25 lbs-no lie. It was rock solid!! But, we decided to just throw it away..

It's crazy how things like that can just sneak-up on ya.. and although I am sure my ex-husband is living a wonderful life, my life is so different in the place that I am now.. I couldn't be happier. I love my current husband. More than should legally be allowed.. lol. And the best part is, I know this time it's perfect. I don't even need any cake to make me happy..

Just in case you were wondering.. We didn't even save our cake top.. In fact, after we left the reception on our wedding day.. We hadn't had anything to eat, or any of our cake besides when we cut and shared it with one another.

Perhaps I'll make a little cake for our next wedding anniversary. The one we will be spending with our daughter.. 

I taste soap in my mouth!

First of all. This post has nothin to with soap. I serisouly taste soap in my mouth. Maybe it's due to the fact that I am terribly ashamed for my lack of blogging, I am gonna sulk over here in the corner for a moment.. Ugh.

Sulking done. Oh did you by chance see our Christmas photos? Silly me.. probably not, especially since I haven't been on here, and I have failed to post any. I can only post one, due to legal reason, and foster care.. :( All you get to look at our mine and Jon's ugly faces..
*If you're afraid of going blind.. look away now!!

Alright.. It isn't awful.. But, I wish I could post more. Until I can, this is what ya get! So, why you may ask did I decide to sit down and blog? Well.. I am starting, I am gonna change. I have started to realize I want all of these amazing things for myself, and I am not doing myself any justice, by not living healthy, and being happy in the body I want. So, screw new years resolutions, give it up for February Conquest! So, on Monday the 30th, I will post before photos, and my goals for myself and such.

I know kinda boring, but the good news is, if I can lose weight, and be healthy, committing to try again to make some babies will be a lot easier.. mainly because when it doesn't happen, I won't beat myself up for being infertile and fat. Trying to stay positive here...

Alright, well, I will write a more detailed blog in the next couple of days, but I felt I had to jump on here and get this out there to stay more committed to being healthy.

Here is to healthy living, positive self image, and to looking slammin' in a swim suit this summer! Lol, and if it doesn't happen you are NOT getting any photos of that!! Then you will go blind! LOL

when faith is enough..

I was trying to think of what to name this post.. But, you can really name something that means so much. Many of you are aware of the current situation we are in. Especially in regards to our adoption, the emotional toll, and the finanacial one as well... I never imagined at the beginning of this year.. We would be here.

Many of us in the family have really been struggling with the whole commitment of faith, considering that there are so many things that are taking place at once, and the roller coaster we seem to be on everyday. It's hard, when someone ask what we think will happen, or our odds. Now, all I can do is look at them and say. 'it's in the Lords hands.'

There are moments in life, where lets face it. Life happens. In those moments where you think you have it all figured out, and someone decides to through a wrench in the works.

This past month has been the most spiritually rewarding time in our lives. I have never felt so blessed, and so surrounded by love... It really has been moments where we have been looking over the edge... ready to jump... This quote fits us perfectly.


This really has been our moments. I have felt isolated, hurt and betrayed.. Shortly followed by humility, gratitude, and love... I can honestly say the Lord has a plan, he knows what we need... We just need to listen..

I am writting this post because I know there are a lot of people who read and have followed with a watchfull eye of the happenings in our life. Your prayers have been felt, as well as your faith. I have countless family members who bring me strength. I want them to know... Although you may feel like your faith isn't enough... Showing me that your faith is still intact.. gives me strength to push forward.. You set an example for my family, and I love you all so much.

I've spent so many moments in quite prayer, in moments where I felt I had nothing left... all I really needed was my faith.

Our Birth Mother

*Before you read this- we want you to know, we in no way habor ill feelings toward our birth mother. True, our hearts our hurting, and we feel frustration, but please find it in your heart to feel peace, and to pray for our birth mother. She loves Izze, just as much as we do.*


Today was the court hearing for the birth mother to wave her parental rights. We were dreading this day, and looking forward to it. Hoping that only good news could come from this meeting. But alas, within a few minutes of walking through the door of the court house, we knew something was wrong. We hadn't fully expected the birth mother to show up, but she did, and when I went to acknowledge her, and say hello, she couldn't even look at me. We knew then, that it wasn't going to go as smooth as we had thought.

We got into the court room, and within a few minutes were seated at our tables. The judge came in, and after a few short comments he, turned to the birth mother and asked if she gave her consent, and she replied, she did not. It broke my heart to hear her say that. It was then followed by several accusations in regards to us lying to her, denying her visitation, ect. It was hard to sit there and listen to the things she had to say. Especially after I feel we have been more than fair to her during this whole procedure.

The judge then turned, and told us that we should petition for the parental rights to be revoked, and that we should do it as soon as possible. He then signed a court order stating that we would have temporary custody during the proceedings. My heart sank, as I sat and listened to the birth mother complain to her group of supportors. That she felt she had choosen the wrong family to adopt her child, or that she was sincerely bitter for what we had supposidly done to her.

We don't want to fight, we want these to be peaceful proceedings, and for everyone to be happy. It's hard to believe that less than 5 months ago, we didn't even have the intentions of having a child by the 4th of July. We could have never imagined that our lives would change with just a phone call.

I love our birth mother, I love what she has done for us, she brought us that much closer to being a family. She helped a part of our dream come true. Something that we had been struggling to do on our own for over two years, she gave to us. We love our little girl, and I cannot imagine her not being with us. We have so many hopes and dreams for the future, and want the birth mother to share those milestones with us.

We are currently asking for prayers, and for a participation to fast this Sunday. Not just for peaceful proceedings, but for the birth mother to find peace in her heart, and joy in her decision.

Thank you all for your support, and for your understanding, we have truly been blessed with love, and unconditional support from those around us, family, friends, and strangers united.

Welcome to the family Izzebel

I am so very proud today!! We took our newborn photos, with Izze, and although she didn't sleep at all, she was wide awake, and very well behaved. So cute!!

It has been such an emotional roller coaster, and I know that we are not done yet, we still have another six months before it's done and over, and but thus far, I am enjoying every minute of it, and I still cannot believe we have a daughter. I didn't realize that after such a short period of time, I already feel like she was meant to be here, and that she was missing from our lives this whole time. Mind you, I miss my sleep, doing my hair or makeup, or even cleaning my house.. But, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I feel so utterly blessed, I can't even see straight.

In the first two weeks of Izzebel's life, she has over come the hard part of her withdrawals, gained weight, left the hospital, met some of her cousins, aunts and uncles, her great grandparents, her grandparents, and even the two family dogs that only visit every now and then. I am so over whelmed by the out pour of support, and love that has been showen to us. I was truly worried that people would not be as excepting, but truly, I feel as if I physically had her, and that she was always meant to be with our family.

I cry a little inside when I think of what a blessing this has been in our lives, and we are so grateful to our birth mother for being so brave, and loving, and to allow us this amazing opportunity to adopt Izzebel. I cannot wait to watch her grow, and to walk, talk, or actually smile back at me, instead of sleepy smiles, or gas bubbles. But, she can stay little for now.

She is changing every day, I litterally see it right before my eyes. I am truly amazed. We love her, and know that this was truly a once in a life time opportunity. I cannot wait to be sealed to her in this next year, and to officialy know she is part of our eternal family.

Again, thank you for the prayers, thoughts, wellwishes, gifts, and the many many visits. We love and appreciate all of you!