Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Guess what I did!!!

I became a consultant for PureRomance!!

You can check out my website HERE,

It's serisouly a great company, and lets face it.. if you know me personally, you know that talking about sex, is like the easiest thing for me.. Sorry if I am making you blush. But really, I love this company!

Take a peek, and don't be shy.. No one will know you looked, and the best part is.. You can get free product, by hosting a party!!

Oh also, come Like my facebook page!!
You can do that HERE!

Alright, enjoy your day, and thanks for all your support!!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I didn't realize that.

So, today I was talking a good friend of mine, who is going through her own infertility process. She has been blessed with a beautiful little boy. But, like more woman in our situation. When you know the pain of infertility, having a baby in your arms never changes the fact that you know additional children may be a challange.

As I was attempting to comfort her, I started to think about our journey through this whole process. The things that I have learned and experienced, and of course the heart break that followed every time.

But since we started this journey almost 3 years ago, things have changed. I went through somethings that I never have could have imagined. I witnessed things that should never have occuried. This changed how I saw the world, and how I chose to deal with my inferility.. I knew I had felt this way, but it wasn't till today when I typed these words on the screen of my computer, that I finally realized that I am okay with my infertility.

"There is a reason you cannot have children. The Lord has other plans. But if your heart is open, the children that are meant to be in your family will come to you. Everyones journey has a reason, and sometimes the journey your children take to get to you may not always be the one you had planned. But, regardless they are yours and love you just as much. An eternal family is made up of people who love each other, not if they are biologically related"

A huge impact has been made on me. I embrace my infertility, and take pity on it.. I count every blessing that adoption brings into my life, and I know that there are more children who are waiting to come to our family. I know that the power of the priesthood, and through temple sealings, we are an eternal family. I am so very blessed to know this.

Everyone has a different journey, and story that is waiting to be written. Coming to terms with your trials is something that must be done in your own time. Don't force it, and beautiful things will happen when you can be healed.

I don't usually do this, and for those of you who want you're welcome to skip this part-

But, I want to bare my testimony, I believe in the Lords plan, and although sometimes I am weak, and I get frustrated with the things in my life that I feel are unfair.. I have the understanding in my heart that the Lord gave me this trial for a reason. I am capable of loving any child. This I know. I also know that the Lord always keeps his promises, we must be patient enough to receive them. I am so grateful for my family, regardless of how it's made.

We may be imperfect, our family may be patched together, and have different people and faces. But we are beautiful, and we love each other.

I hope the things in your life that you feel are missing, you can find peace for the reason. Or lack of reason.

Monday, February 20, 2012

She is beautiful

You know what the best smell in the entire world is?

New baby smell..

No joke. Serisouly my favorite smell in the entire world. I love nothing more than feeling this small warm little wonder, against your chest. It is truly amazing.


I got to smell the most wonderful smell.
My best friend, along with her husband. Welcomed their precious little miracle into the world this afternoon..

She is beautiful.

I was there.  

It's true, there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, than witnessing the birth of a new baby.

It was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life, I was so honored to photograph the whole process.

It's hard to believe just over 8 months ago my little girl was the bundle of blankets pressed against me.. Now she is almost walking, and attempting to talk, and be as grown-up as possible for a little girl..

Such a wonderful experience.

Walking through the hall-way of the Mothers unit, and seeing the tiny infants in the nursery as I practically press my face against the glass. It brings back a flood of emotions. From my infertility, to this whole adoption process.

It's nice to feel at peace.
for once.

I feel so blessed. I know my life isn't perfect-no ones is.. But for a few hours this afternoon. It was perfect.

Congratulations to my best friend. I love you so much. You more than deserve this.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Let eat cake?

Alright, it happened... something I just couldn't even believe till I saw it with my own eyes.. My sister and her husband celebrated their first wedding anniversary just a few weeks ago. Well, my mother was kind enough to save their cake top for them, and called to remind them that the cake top was still in her freezer in case they wanted it... Or well-at least my mother thought she had saved my sisters wedding cake top, in her freezer..

Upon arriving and investigating the cake, I got a phone call from my sister asking if by chance it was mine and my husbands cake top, that she wouldn't really tell, and needed some help figuring it out. I asked a few questions, and decided it was best she brought it to me..

After peeling back the tin foil.. the 4 layers of saran wrap.. and realizing that the cake was in fact covered with foundant and not butter cream frosting... it was discovered that it was in fact my wedding cake toppper... from my first wedding. Over 5 years ago... Don't get me wrong. I am sure the cake was wonderful.. and at one point tasted wonderful. But I was not about to eat it.

We had a good laugh.. contimplated about what to do with the cake top that weighed like 25 lbs-no lie. It was rock solid!! But, we decided to just throw it away..

It's crazy how things like that can just sneak-up on ya.. and although I am sure my ex-husband is living a wonderful life, my life is so different in the place that I am now.. I couldn't be happier. I love my current husband. More than should legally be allowed.. lol. And the best part is, I know this time it's perfect. I don't even need any cake to make me happy..

Just in case you were wondering.. We didn't even save our cake top.. In fact, after we left the reception on our wedding day.. We hadn't had anything to eat, or any of our cake besides when we cut and shared it with one another.

Perhaps I'll make a little cake for our next wedding anniversary. The one we will be spending with our daughter.. 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Infertility Bug..

It showed it's ugly head once again.. For the past few days it has really been snubbing it in my face.. You know that pregnancy cycle.. Where like every few months another group of ladies gets pregnant... Well it's that time again, and it just so happens to be the same time where it's practically every single friend on facebook... :( Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled for all of my friends... but lets face it.. still sucks..

I hate this feeling more than anything, and I know that a lot of my friends went through infertility as well.. The only difference, they have all been able to get pregnant. I hope all my infertile friends reading this don't take this the wrong way, and I hope you don't think I am mad at you. I'm not. I am just having a pity party..:( it just came a little early this year.

We are fast approaching our 3rd year anniversary, and I fear that it may be the 3rd of many many annisersaries that we will once again not bare our own children. I know I am a mom, I know Miss Izz, is my little girl, but even that hangs in the balance.

I guess more than anything it feels like we have been pushed into the corner with few options, and that it doesn't seem to be getting any better...

I know with everything that is going on in my life, school, work, fostercare.. having more children should probably be the last thing on my mind. lol.. But, all I want is to be a mom, and to have more children, and nothing is more frustrating that not knowing if you will ever have your own family.

I've come along way since we started this journey.. I can actually go without having to test if my period is a day late.. in fact, I have a pregnancy test sitting in my bathroom that has been there for like 2 months now! lol. That probably seems like the dumbest thing ever.. but for me, it's a big deal! And if you know another infertile, or are one yourself, you know what kinda deal this is!

Alright, getting up and walking away from Face book, and the preggers..:( unless a pregnant woman wants to come sneeze on me in the hope of concieving.. I am just sayin'!

Friday, February 3, 2012


So, the other day, I decided to write another post... I know, go me! Well, Blogger was being such a stink about things... I couldn't even freakin tittle my post!! So, I decided to post it anyway... Well apparently it didn't even put it up! Super annoyed. Not that the blog was special or anything.. it was just about making goals.

Thanks to my best friend J, who so kindly left a comment on my blank post.. *rolling eyes* I am kinda bent about the whole situation, especially because it was a very moving, and inspiring blog post.. I mean, it's the kinda stuff that makes ya cry! Alright not reallly, it wasn't even that close to making anyone cry.. in fact, after I typed it, and read through it.. I thought it was kinda boring.. Maybe Blogger realized how dang boring the post was, and refused to post it, out of consideration to me... Yeah, I am reaching for the bottom of the barrel here... lol.

Alright, that being said- set goals, reach high, have a great day.. lol..