This morning was the worst morning I have ever had... I woke up to silence. The court failed to see that Izzebel would be in immediate danger if returned to the birth mother, and against all of the argurments we made, and how hard we fought for her. We unwillingly handed over our beautiful 5 month old daughter, and they placed her back in the arms of the birthmother. We are devastated. We waited so long to be blessed with a child, and when it finally happen I couldn't believe how blessed we were..and now.. I feel empty.
There is no worst feeling in the world, than feeling innadiquate to care for a child.. I know I shouldn't feel so low about things, but really?! I spent over two years praying for a child, and we get blessed through this adoption, and now we have nothing to show for our en deavours'... I have never felt so defeated in my life..
We have lost faith in our legal system, what we thought would work for us, and that we would prevail, we have been terribly disappointed. But, above this, we need to pray for Izze. We need to pray for her safety, that she may be kept from harm. We love her so much, and cannot even imagine the confusion that she is going through, or the hurt... We know she is young, but she knows who we are. Thank you for all of your prayers... Sorry for not keeping you updated, and that you are coming to find out that after all the months, we no longer have our sweet baby.
We love you Izzebel, and we know we will see each other again...