Wednesday, July 27, 2011

step one

So, I probably shared it a while ago... but if not, you have to check out my little sisters blog.. 'From Fat to P.H.A.T'. I only bring this up, because recently I started doing something, that I absolutely love. I started doing yoga. I can honestly say that within the first week I already feel so different, and my back pain is starting to subside.

Just in case you are wondering... no I cannot do this pose, yet... I will however make it possible, and I will do this on the beach next summer!

Okay, now back to the reason why I am blogging again. I got to do some yoga this afternoon with my bestie B, and I just feel really motivated to not only progress with yoga, but to lose weight, and achieve ultimate flexibility. It's hard being a fatty and pulling off some of the moves. Now, it's to the drawing board, kinda gotta make a plan. Menu, schedule, perhaps yoga with Izze. Oh that would be awesome.

Oh, look what I found! It exist! I am all over this like ugly on an ape!

Okay, so if you haven't done it yet, go check out my sisters blog, it is all about her journey to losing weight, and over coming her polycystic ovarian syndrome, thyroid disorder, and trying to achieve her well deserved happiness!

Monday, July 25, 2011

You are probably wondering

I was just thinking to myself... You are all probably wondering about how we came to adopt Izzebel. I know I hadn't talked about it, or well I had mentioned in passing that we were open to it. Although there are many of you who read my blog, you probably still want to know.

Back in March I received a phone call from my sister, telling me she had a friend who was interested in placing her baby for adoption, and wanted to know if we were interested, and if we would like to meet her. I didn't even hesitate, and I said yes. Two days later I met our birth-mom. I look back now, and think, people don't just get a phone call like that. We weren't even going through an agency, we had thought about starting the adoption process next summer, but hadn't really gone past that.

April came, I got to go to the doctors with our birth-mom, and I heard sweet Izze's heart beat. I cried a little, and I just felt so blessed. Back while we were waiting it seemed the days, and the weeks seemed to crawl by. We told friends, and family, merely so we could have the prayers and support. But, I felt I didn't want to risk actually putting it in writing at risk of it not being true.

It truly happened so quickly, and seemed to go off without a hitch, we found a lawyer, we had an in-home study done, we did the background checks, and seriously, one thing after the next fell into place for us. It really seemed to good to be true, things like this just don't happen to people like me.

Then June was here, and we were counting the days. She was due the 11th, and that afternoon we went with the birth-mom to the park and we walked around to encourage labor. I felt so beyond blessed, I felt like we had a good relationship with her, and that things we going to be great. The next morning, before anyone could even make it to the hospital. Izzebel entered the world in the backseat of a Saturn, in the hospital parking lot. I guess at that point she really wanted to be here. We got to be the first ones into the nursery, and I got to hold her, and feed her. I don't think I have ever cried so much out of joy. It truly was so emotional in so many ways.

These last 6 weeks of Izze's little life have been the most emotional, trying, and fearful weeks, days, moments of my life. The birth mother has changed her mind, more then once, and now we are left to fight for our family. To say we are hurt is an understatement. We truly felt that love and trust was both a mutual understanding and that Izze was going to grow up knowing everyone loved her.

We are now standing at a new door, preparing to knock, and about to step forward onto our new journey. We only pray that we are brave enough to fight, and strong enough to en dour.

Again, thank you for the prayers, the support, and above all, the love. We wouldn't be here with out it.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

come on down to Utah... bring your wives!!!

So this morning as I sat on my couch trying to calm my crying baby, I was touching away at my phone, playing on Facebook, when I happened across THIS post..
Needless to say I was a little shocked... Especially on what people had to say, I know that everyone picks on everyone, and I get that... but truly, some of the remarks did not need to be made about Mormons. I make it a point to not poke fun at others religious beliefs, so yes, it kinda burns my button to be reading those things, and sad that other would find it acceptable. So, reading the post, I came across THIS link....You have probably heard of this one, the 'Men on a Mission" The LDS 'returned' missionaries who posed with their shirts off for this magazine starting in 2008.

Okay- I won't lie, the men are a little hot... But, enough of that, really?! This was a huge controversy a few years ago, and the models used in the calendar were disciplined by the Church, but that only seemed to fuel the fire.. To make matters worse, they have come out with a new calendar called "Mormon Muffins", and it shows Mormon wives dressed like pin-up girls, with muffin recipes on it... Okay, so maybe I am over reacting, and perhaps a few years ago, I would have been first in line waiting to purchase the sexy Mormon Missionary calendar... But this whole thing has got me worked up.

Then, in the mist of abusing google, I decided to entertain myself, and googled, polygomist images... Which lead me to THIS website...Which, put me a better mode... If you don't really go read that blog you are missing out. It is creative, and unique that two individuals who come from different backgrounds can be friends.

Okay, I will get off my soap box..


For more REAL information on the LDS church.... please visit HERE.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Our Birth Mother

*Before you read this- we want you to know, we in no way habor ill feelings toward our birth mother. True, our hearts our hurting, and we feel frustration, but please find it in your heart to feel peace, and to pray for our birth mother. She loves Izze, just as much as we do.*

Today was the court hearing for the birth mother to wave her parental rights. We were dreading this day, and looking forward to it. Hoping that only good news could come from this meeting. But alas, within a few minutes of walking through the door of the court house, we knew something was wrong. We hadn't fully expected the birth mother to show up, but she did, and when I went to acknowledge her, and say hello, she couldn't even look at me. We knew then, that it wasn't going to go as smooth as we had thought.

We got into the court room, and within a few minutes were seated at our tables. The judge came in, and after a few short comments he, turned to the birth mother and asked if she gave her consent, and she replied, she did not. It broke my heart to hear her say that. It was then followed by several accusations in regards to us lying to her, denying her visitation, ect. It was hard to sit there and listen to the things she had to say. Especially after I feel we have been more than fair to her during this whole procedure.

The judge then turned, and told us that we should petition for the parental rights to be revoked, and that we should do it as soon as possible. He then signed a court order stating that we would have temporary custody during the proceedings. My heart sank, as I sat and listened to the birth mother complain to her group of supportors. That she felt she had choosen the wrong family to adopt her child, or that she was sincerely bitter for what we had supposidly done to her.

We don't want to fight, we want these to be peaceful proceedings, and for everyone to be happy. It's hard to believe that less than 5 months ago, we didn't even have the intentions of having a child by the 4th of July. We could have never imagined that our lives would change with just a phone call.

I love our birth mother, I love what she has done for us, she brought us that much closer to being a family. She helped a part of our dream come true. Something that we had been struggling to do on our own for over two years, she gave to us. We love our little girl, and I cannot imagine her not being with us. We have so many hopes and dreams for the future, and want the birth mother to share those milestones with us.

We are currently asking for prayers, and for a participation to fast this Sunday. Not just for peaceful proceedings, but for the birth mother to find peace in her heart, and joy in her decision.

Thank you all for your support, and for your understanding, we have truly been blessed with love, and unconditional support from those around us, family, friends, and strangers united.

Had to share

I just had to let you know.... my laptop!!! It. Works!!!! I was half tempted to say "it's alive!" but, I figured that was a bit cliche'. So, now that my laptop is working again, and I do no have to sit at my dreaded desk top... I will hopefully be blogging more.

That is if can get on top of the cleaning that needs t be done, and tending to the offspring.

Loving life!