So, this isn't going to be the typical gratitude post of the day. Instead I wanted to highlight a blog that I read, and really needed to be shared. This gal touched on a topic, that I know many people feel strongly about, and I just want you all to know. I am indifferent on this subject, and feel that any choice you make, on how you ultimately have a baby, whether that's by natural means-you didn't need any help getting, and or making your baby. You choose IVf, or adoption.
This particular post, was that on adoption, and the defense against those who somehow think IVF is a better route, than adoption. you can read about that HERE. I know that one day, adoption may be our only adoption, and that is mainly for the fact that I doubt we may ever be able to afford IVF, or that my broken uterus would be able to even function with a pregnancy.
I know the journey to parenthood won't be easy for us, and I know many other couples suffering from infertility. We should all be a little more understanding of everyone situation, and know that there are others who may be hurting more than we are.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
My Saturday it's a long post.. sorry..
First off, I just have to say thank to my good friend B for helping out with my blog, and every little step we take to improve it, just makes it that much better. If you didn't notice already, my text are just that much cuter now! Thanks B love your face!
Also, I need another moment to brag. I wanted to show this pic before my I went to the baby showers today, but I didn't want anyone seeing something they shouldn't.
I just have to share, I love this outfit, and I think it's so adorable! I mean who doesn't want their little boy to have his own guitar to rock out to. I just want you all to know, that if this kid grows up and becomes a rockstar. I am responsible for this... If he becomes I crazy emo wanna be... I had nothing to do with it. I just have to say, it's pretty kick-ass!
No but seriously, today was so crazy. I hardly got any sleep last night and then this morning I was up early, running late... I know, it's hard to imagine that one. But, when you don't wake-up early enough, you kinda run a little behind. Then, I drove about 30 mins south... and drove around another 15 mins.. I got terribly lost. Oops. Not even Mapquest, nor my navigation could navigate this little small town. Thankfully, I found the spot, and enjoyed my time with my friend Cassiopia... No that's not her name, it's just my nickname for her. It was lots of fun, and I gave her some of my favorite Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion and wash, seriously you can't go wrong with Vanilla Oatmeal.. I love the smell.
After enjoying the festivities, I ventured North just shy of ten minutes, which If you have been to Utah, I found myself in down town Provo. I enjoyed a quick lunch, and started to look for the next baby shower location... Yeah, good thing my number dyslexia knows how to act up at the dumbest times! I spent another 15 mins looking for a street that didn't exist. I mixed up the order of the numbers.. Thankfully I had my handy-dandy Droid! Also access to Facebook. I quickly found the next location, and enjoyed some nummy snacks, some great company... and a rather disturbing story.
The preggers lady was opening her gifts, and opened a bag with binkie wipes in it. These wipes are pretty cool, in a handy packet, and good for when you drop the binkies on the ground, leave them in the bottom of a dirty bag.. So, this other gal who was attending, started sharing that her son ended up getting tooth decay because she had picked up his binkie off the floor on several occasion, wiped it off using her own mouth.. which A. Why in the heck would you put something, off the floor! In your mouth? and B. Why would you think it would then be good enough to put it in your son's mouth? Everyone in the room was kind of shocked.. She then proceeds to say.. "If you think that's terrible, just wait til you start breast feeding, and do things like feed your bestfriends baby.. in the back of a car no less".. Umm What? Okay, I tried to wrap my head around this, and seriously, even considering breastfeeding my sisters baby would be a stretch.
Needless to say, it was an eventful day. But for today, I know something that I am grateful, and yes it's a little hard to swallow.. Sigh..
Today, I am grateful for humbling situations. For being reminded there is a reason for everything, and although I may not understand, or be happy with those things I fail to fully comprehend. And although at the end of the day when I am driving home, and still feeling fully accomplished from the things I was able to give someone, I am allowed to cry a little.
I love my life, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to have lived, and seen the things that I have, and to know that miracles exist. Yeah, this chapter sucks. The whole waiting and having to stand on the side line. It's truly something so remarkable, and I hope that the efforts I put forth, and my patience is what is being counted.
Also, I need another moment to brag. I wanted to show this pic before my I went to the baby showers today, but I didn't want anyone seeing something they shouldn't.
I just have to share, I love this outfit, and I think it's so adorable! I mean who doesn't want their little boy to have his own guitar to rock out to. I just want you all to know, that if this kid grows up and becomes a rockstar. I am responsible for this... If he becomes I crazy emo wanna be... I had nothing to do with it. I just have to say, it's pretty kick-ass!
No but seriously, today was so crazy. I hardly got any sleep last night and then this morning I was up early, running late... I know, it's hard to imagine that one. But, when you don't wake-up early enough, you kinda run a little behind. Then, I drove about 30 mins south... and drove around another 15 mins.. I got terribly lost. Oops. Not even Mapquest, nor my navigation could navigate this little small town. Thankfully, I found the spot, and enjoyed my time with my friend Cassiopia... No that's not her name, it's just my nickname for her. It was lots of fun, and I gave her some of my favorite Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion and wash, seriously you can't go wrong with Vanilla Oatmeal.. I love the smell.
After enjoying the festivities, I ventured North just shy of ten minutes, which If you have been to Utah, I found myself in down town Provo. I enjoyed a quick lunch, and started to look for the next baby shower location... Yeah, good thing my number dyslexia knows how to act up at the dumbest times! I spent another 15 mins looking for a street that didn't exist. I mixed up the order of the numbers.. Thankfully I had my handy-dandy Droid! Also access to Facebook. I quickly found the next location, and enjoyed some nummy snacks, some great company... and a rather disturbing story.
The preggers lady was opening her gifts, and opened a bag with binkie wipes in it. These wipes are pretty cool, in a handy packet, and good for when you drop the binkies on the ground, leave them in the bottom of a dirty bag.. So, this other gal who was attending, started sharing that her son ended up getting tooth decay because she had picked up his binkie off the floor on several occasion, wiped it off using her own mouth.. which A. Why in the heck would you put something, off the floor! In your mouth? and B. Why would you think it would then be good enough to put it in your son's mouth? Everyone in the room was kind of shocked.. She then proceeds to say.. "If you think that's terrible, just wait til you start breast feeding, and do things like feed your bestfriends baby.. in the back of a car no less".. Umm What? Okay, I tried to wrap my head around this, and seriously, even considering breastfeeding my sisters baby would be a stretch.
Needless to say, it was an eventful day. But for today, I know something that I am grateful, and yes it's a little hard to swallow.. Sigh..
Today, I am grateful for humbling situations. For being reminded there is a reason for everything, and although I may not understand, or be happy with those things I fail to fully comprehend. And although at the end of the day when I am driving home, and still feeling fully accomplished from the things I was able to give someone, I am allowed to cry a little.
I love my life, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to have lived, and seen the things that I have, and to know that miracles exist. Yeah, this chapter sucks. The whole waiting and having to stand on the side line. It's truly something so remarkable, and I hope that the efforts I put forth, and my patience is what is being counted.
Friday, January 14, 2011
count down is on
So I have to apologize for my lack of post yesterday, we are getting ready to celebrate my little sisters marriage this next Friday. With all of that, I have been making my little sisters bouquet, doing a makeup run through, wedding dress fittings, shopping for the just right shoes... ugh, seriously if I could re-do my wedding day, I would have done everything so much cheaper... a nice dinner with close family and friends, and then an open house after we got back from our honey moon... Honestly, I tried convincing my sister of that, I tried telling her all that mattered was at the end of the day, you were married, and happy. I think more intimate settings are so much better. But, lesson learned just a little. No worries, after almost two years of marriage, I couldn't be happier.
I was trying to come up with something witty, and remotely entertaining for today's gratitude post, but alas, I feel just a little too dang distracted by anything to be grateful for... No, No... Stop. I know I have something that I am grateful for.
Oh I know.. Today, I went grocery shopping... and.. I used some coupons. Okay, before you go rolling your eyes, have you ever gone shopping and used coupons? It's great! Mind you, it's been a long time since I was using coupons, and today was the first day back on the band wagon. I m super proud of myself, and in the end I saved myself today about 40 dollars. Woot! Go me. I know it isn't much, but I am kinda proud of myself. So today, I am thankful for coupons, for discounts, and sales. For people who take into consideration the poor college students.
Tomorrow will be a better day.. I hope. I at least should be able to find something too be grateful for. I have two baby showers, and a wedding reception to attend. I know, if you aren't shocked at this point that the infertile, is attending TWO baby showers. Only every now and then does it suck to sit and listen to all the ladies, oohh and aaww over the diapers, and butt paste, and sometimes the hideous clothing and or blankets that are gifted to them. I will say however, I always feel like the better person, cause in the end my gifts are the biggest hit, especially since I take the time to put them together, and fluff 'em.
So here is to coupons, and looking forward to better days, and of course more awesome baby shower gifts from yours truly!
I was trying to come up with something witty, and remotely entertaining for today's gratitude post, but alas, I feel just a little too dang distracted by anything to be grateful for... No, No... Stop. I know I have something that I am grateful for.
Oh I know.. Today, I went grocery shopping... and.. I used some coupons. Okay, before you go rolling your eyes, have you ever gone shopping and used coupons? It's great! Mind you, it's been a long time since I was using coupons, and today was the first day back on the band wagon. I m super proud of myself, and in the end I saved myself today about 40 dollars. Woot! Go me. I know it isn't much, but I am kinda proud of myself. So today, I am thankful for coupons, for discounts, and sales. For people who take into consideration the poor college students.
Tomorrow will be a better day.. I hope. I at least should be able to find something too be grateful for. I have two baby showers, and a wedding reception to attend. I know, if you aren't shocked at this point that the infertile, is attending TWO baby showers. Only every now and then does it suck to sit and listen to all the ladies, oohh and aaww over the diapers, and butt paste, and sometimes the hideous clothing and or blankets that are gifted to them. I will say however, I always feel like the better person, cause in the end my gifts are the biggest hit, especially since I take the time to put them together, and fluff 'em.
So here is to coupons, and looking forward to better days, and of course more awesome baby shower gifts from yours truly!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Blessing in Disguise
So this morning, at roughly 1 a.m. I was sitting down with my best friend J, Learning how to make a button for this here new blog, and I got a phone call from my husband. No worries, everyone is fine!
He asked where I was, and after replying with J, he informed me he had been fired from his job..Now, let me just tell you, I know that my husband was slightly relieved, especially since it was a terrible job.. He worked for the grocery store, WinCo throwing freight every night, and being worked to death. They expect so much out of them, for very little pay. It sucked when it came to jobs, but til something else could be found, it worked.
My dear husband was fired, due to "performance issues".. ironic that 5 other guys were written up for the same freakin thing! Little insight, the assistant manager doesn't know how to except responsibility, and likes to blame everyone else... so everyone else suffers. Needless to say, my husband was relieved, but there was still a little bit of lingering stress in the air today. Thankfully my best friend J, informed me the were hiring where she works, so my husband and I both applied, and have interviews for next Tuesday.
Cross your fingers that one of us can find a job quickly.
So for today, this is to blessings in disguise, for moments where you feel nothing but failure, and for bright people in your lives at the right moment. Thank you to J and her dear husband for watching out for us, and offer that little tip to the table. I cannot even tell you how appreciative we are!
To the future, to new beginnings, and to finally feeling free from something that confines and traps you. Moments like these are allowed to feel just a little bit of happiness.
He asked where I was, and after replying with J, he informed me he had been fired from his job..Now, let me just tell you, I know that my husband was slightly relieved, especially since it was a terrible job.. He worked for the grocery store, WinCo throwing freight every night, and being worked to death. They expect so much out of them, for very little pay. It sucked when it came to jobs, but til something else could be found, it worked.
My dear husband was fired, due to "performance issues".. ironic that 5 other guys were written up for the same freakin thing! Little insight, the assistant manager doesn't know how to except responsibility, and likes to blame everyone else... so everyone else suffers. Needless to say, my husband was relieved, but there was still a little bit of lingering stress in the air today. Thankfully my best friend J, informed me the were hiring where she works, so my husband and I both applied, and have interviews for next Tuesday.
Cross your fingers that one of us can find a job quickly.
So for today, this is to blessings in disguise, for moments where you feel nothing but failure, and for bright people in your lives at the right moment. Thank you to J and her dear husband for watching out for us, and offer that little tip to the table. I cannot even tell you how appreciative we are!
To the future, to new beginnings, and to finally feeling free from something that confines and traps you. Moments like these are allowed to feel just a little bit of happiness.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
So Live Your LIFE
Today, I attended the funeral, of one little 5 month old baby. The sweetest little girl, with so much curly hair, just adorable. It was hard, and rewarding at the same time. I walked to the front of the chapel, with my best friend J, who recently lost her daughter to still birth, this past year. I think was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I stood there, and wrapped my arms around her, and we both cried for a few minutes, til I realized everyone was staring at us, and I started to move J to our seats.
It was amazing to watch the mother of this little girl, a woman that I had gone to school with. She sat there with a peaceful smile on her face, and after hugging her and complimenting her strength. She looked at us, and simply stated that her daughter was an angel, and she was in a much better place. I have never been more amazed by any one person in this situation. She is truly an amazing woman, and I admire her very much. I know I could never function that fully in such a tragic event.
So for today, I am grateful to be alive, to have lived, and to my health and the lives of those around me. I am truly so blessed in many areas of my life, and even though there are things that I don't understand, and may struggle with every now and then again. Thank you infertility! But I can be grateful for my life, and for the things that I have been allowed to participate in, and be a part of.
Hold your love ones close, remember that we may not have the things we want... But we always have the things we need.
Just a little over a year ago, I lost my grandmother, my most favorite person in the whole wide world. She only had two sons, my father, and my uncle. She told me constantly as I was growing up, that she would have given anything to have a little girl. Thankfully, after I was born my parents moved to Utah, and my grandmother practically raised me. I couldn't imagine what it would be like, during my grandmothers time to go through those things, not knowing what is wrong with your body. Heck, I know what's wrong with my body, and it sucks too! Although, she never was blessed with a daughter, she taught me she had been blessed with so many other ways. I can only pray, that when I am old, and unable to kick my heels, that I am proud of my life.
Thanks Grandma, for all your inspiration, and the love. We miss you!
Laura Ann Pixler
In Memory, of Desirea Anita Brown, August 2010-January 2011,
P.S. I changed my blog address, name, and everything else. HERE!!!
It was amazing to watch the mother of this little girl, a woman that I had gone to school with. She sat there with a peaceful smile on her face, and after hugging her and complimenting her strength. She looked at us, and simply stated that her daughter was an angel, and she was in a much better place. I have never been more amazed by any one person in this situation. She is truly an amazing woman, and I admire her very much. I know I could never function that fully in such a tragic event.
So for today, I am grateful to be alive, to have lived, and to my health and the lives of those around me. I am truly so blessed in many areas of my life, and even though there are things that I don't understand, and may struggle with every now and then again. Thank you infertility! But I can be grateful for my life, and for the things that I have been allowed to participate in, and be a part of.
Hold your love ones close, remember that we may not have the things we want... But we always have the things we need.
Just a little over a year ago, I lost my grandmother, my most favorite person in the whole wide world. She only had two sons, my father, and my uncle. She told me constantly as I was growing up, that she would have given anything to have a little girl. Thankfully, after I was born my parents moved to Utah, and my grandmother practically raised me. I couldn't imagine what it would be like, during my grandmothers time to go through those things, not knowing what is wrong with your body. Heck, I know what's wrong with my body, and it sucks too! Although, she never was blessed with a daughter, she taught me she had been blessed with so many other ways. I can only pray, that when I am old, and unable to kick my heels, that I am proud of my life.
Thanks Grandma, for all your inspiration, and the love. We miss you!
Laura Ann Pixler
In Memory, of Desirea Anita Brown, August 2010-January 2011,
P.S. I changed my blog address, name, and everything else. HERE!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
todays official post!
So, I have to share with you that I am seriously super anxious to change my blog, my wonderfully awesome, beautifully talented friend B is working hard on helping me with the whole new scheme.. Thanks B! All day today, I have been busy brain storming, and thinking, and just creating new ways to improve my blog, and my potential business in the near future. My poor brain hasn't had much rest. Thankfully I let my mind take a break, and I worked my body out.
Speaking of which, I have to share with you, that I have eaten very poorly these past few days.. Between baking goodies for my little sis bridal shower, and having friends over, it is been one buffet of junk food. Enough to make anyone sick with the thought of it. So I was terribly dreading stepping on the scale this morning since it had been a few days since I weighed myself.... I turned on my scale, waited for the 0 to appear, stepped on, one hand covering my eyes, and kind of peeking out through my fingers. I was shocked when I realized that I had actually lost a pound since I had weighed myself last... Wow. How lucky could I get. Mind you, this doesn't mean I am going on a junk food binge, it just reminded me I got super lucky, and that I can't let it happen again. So bring on the 30 day shred! Woot!
Now on to the good stuff, what am I grateful for today, you ask? Why, my most wonderful adoring husband. As I watched him leave the house, to take his big Border Patrol exam today, on less than 4 hours of sleep. I realized how much he really does love me. I know he wants to make things better in our lives, and to find a job that brings us more money, and great career opportunities. He is an amazing man, and I don't know what I would do with him.
Little background story. Less than 3 months of after my divorce from my first husband, I joined a dating Website.. Shortly there after I stopped using it, and forgot all about it. No worries, the story gets better. I then received an email from said Website, informing me someone had sent me an email. I was rather shocked, considering I hadn't been online in months. I quickly accessed my account, and there was an email, from this handsome stud. I sent him a text, two nights later we had our first date, on our 4th date he told me, he loved me. I then told him that evening that was way to fast for him, and I was no longer interested...What?! I know, poor judgement on my part. Well two days later, I gave into my undeniable feelings for said stud, and we were together again... Yes, ten LONG days after our first date we decided to marry... I know, I'm insane. But I tell you what I am the happiest crazy person I know!
I could never pick any one person who could compliment my personality, my wits, and my soul. He truly is the other half of my puzzle, and the one person I would breath and die for. I can't til we are old and we get to tell people of our courtship, and they drop their jaw, and raise an eyebrow or two. You rock my socks baby, and I cannot believe we have been together over years already.. I know, such a long time right? But I couldn't be happier.
Oh just in case you are wondering. Jon only lived 6 blocks from me, and I actually worked with his brother at one point, not that his brother even remembers me. But, still, it's like those others weird creepy online courtships, plus we were engaged for 6 months. In Utah standards, that's an eternity.
I love this guy, I couldn't be more grateful for any one thing in my whole life. I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to find their soulmate.
Speaking of which, I have to share with you, that I have eaten very poorly these past few days.. Between baking goodies for my little sis bridal shower, and having friends over, it is been one buffet of junk food. Enough to make anyone sick with the thought of it. So I was terribly dreading stepping on the scale this morning since it had been a few days since I weighed myself.... I turned on my scale, waited for the 0 to appear, stepped on, one hand covering my eyes, and kind of peeking out through my fingers. I was shocked when I realized that I had actually lost a pound since I had weighed myself last... Wow. How lucky could I get. Mind you, this doesn't mean I am going on a junk food binge, it just reminded me I got super lucky, and that I can't let it happen again. So bring on the 30 day shred! Woot!
Now on to the good stuff, what am I grateful for today, you ask? Why, my most wonderful adoring husband. As I watched him leave the house, to take his big Border Patrol exam today, on less than 4 hours of sleep. I realized how much he really does love me. I know he wants to make things better in our lives, and to find a job that brings us more money, and great career opportunities. He is an amazing man, and I don't know what I would do with him.
Little background story. Less than 3 months of after my divorce from my first husband, I joined a dating Website.. Shortly there after I stopped using it, and forgot all about it. No worries, the story gets better. I then received an email from said Website, informing me someone had sent me an email. I was rather shocked, considering I hadn't been online in months. I quickly accessed my account, and there was an email, from this handsome stud. I sent him a text, two nights later we had our first date, on our 4th date he told me, he loved me. I then told him that evening that was way to fast for him, and I was no longer interested...What?! I know, poor judgement on my part. Well two days later, I gave into my undeniable feelings for said stud, and we were together again... Yes, ten LONG days after our first date we decided to marry... I know, I'm insane. But I tell you what I am the happiest crazy person I know!
I could never pick any one person who could compliment my personality, my wits, and my soul. He truly is the other half of my puzzle, and the one person I would breath and die for. I can't til we are old and we get to tell people of our courtship, and they drop their jaw, and raise an eyebrow or two. You rock my socks baby, and I cannot believe we have been together over years already.. I know, such a long time right? But I couldn't be happier.
Oh just in case you are wondering. Jon only lived 6 blocks from me, and I actually worked with his brother at one point, not that his brother even remembers me. But, still, it's like those others weird creepy online courtships, plus we were engaged for 6 months. In Utah standards, that's an eternity.
I love this guy, I couldn't be more grateful for any one thing in my whole life. I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to find their soulmate.
Oops...
Okay, in all honest, and in my defense, I totally remembered to get online and blog. But, I spent the majority of my afternoon, hanging out with a great set of friends! I love them! We played this game called Munchkin, Yeah... We played it for like 2 hours, and I still have no idea what happened..
Then I got carried away with talking with my Friends BB about all sorts of good things that we plan to do this year, which may involve an Etsy shop, but don't quote me on it! I am a little obsessed with my blogging, and since I don't really have anything better to do, we shall see.
I had so much going on yesterday, and it seemed like I didn't stop for one moment, church, meeting after said church, family dinner, friends, late nights, and early mornings to watch my husband leave. He got up early today, just so he could go take this border patrol exam. Cross your fingers, it would be a huge blessing for us, if he were able to pass, and go on to potentially get a job.
But for yesterday, I took a moment as we were driving, to look around me. And, although, majority of what I saw on our drive were dead deer... Yikes.. I did get a climpse at the Mountains. If you have never been to Utah, and you have never seen our Mountains, you are missing out! In those few moments that I had to spare, I realized how beautiful they were.. They may be void of anything green right now, and the overwhelming amount of snow maybe just too much. But I love them. I love the beautiful things, I have in my life. Not only nature, but those around me who just shine beautifully, who show compassion, and love for everyone.
I now it isn't an over the top kinda thing, but in days like yesterday, it's nice just to take a quick deep breath, and really look at things.
And these aren't even the prettiest, or biggest mountains we have, they are to the west of us, but still just as beautiful.
Then I got carried away with talking with my Friends BB about all sorts of good things that we plan to do this year, which may involve an Etsy shop, but don't quote me on it! I am a little obsessed with my blogging, and since I don't really have anything better to do, we shall see.
I had so much going on yesterday, and it seemed like I didn't stop for one moment, church, meeting after said church, family dinner, friends, late nights, and early mornings to watch my husband leave. He got up early today, just so he could go take this border patrol exam. Cross your fingers, it would be a huge blessing for us, if he were able to pass, and go on to potentially get a job.
But for yesterday, I took a moment as we were driving, to look around me. And, although, majority of what I saw on our drive were dead deer... Yikes.. I did get a climpse at the Mountains. If you have never been to Utah, and you have never seen our Mountains, you are missing out! In those few moments that I had to spare, I realized how beautiful they were.. They may be void of anything green right now, and the overwhelming amount of snow maybe just too much. But I love them. I love the beautiful things, I have in my life. Not only nature, but those around me who just shine beautifully, who show compassion, and love for everyone.
I now it isn't an over the top kinda thing, but in days like yesterday, it's nice just to take a quick deep breath, and really look at things.
And these aren't even the prettiest, or biggest mountains we have, they are to the west of us, but still just as beautiful.
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