A Blessing in Disguise

So this morning, at roughly 1 a.m. I was sitting down with my best friend J, Learning how to make a button for this here new blog, and I got a phone call from my husband. No worries, everyone is fine!

He asked where I was, and after replying with J, he informed me he had been fired from his job..Now, let me just tell you, I know that my husband was slightly relieved, especially since it was a terrible job.. He worked for the grocery store, WinCo throwing freight every night, and being worked to death. They expect so much out of them, for very little pay. It sucked when it came to jobs, but til something else could be found, it worked.

My dear husband was fired, due to "performance issues".. ironic that 5 other guys were written up for the same freakin thing! Little insight, the assistant manager doesn't know how to except responsibility, and likes to blame everyone else... so everyone else suffers. Needless to say, my husband was relieved, but there was still a little bit of lingering stress in the air today. Thankfully my best friend J, informed me the were hiring where she works, so my husband and I both applied, and have interviews for next Tuesday.

Cross your fingers that one of us can find a job quickly.

So for today, this is to blessings in disguise, for moments where you feel nothing but failure, and for bright people in your lives at the right moment. Thank you to J and her dear husband for watching out for us, and offer that little tip to the table. I cannot even tell you how appreciative we are!

To the future, to new beginnings, and to finally feeling free from something that confines and traps you. Moments like these are allowed to feel just a little bit of happiness.

So Live Your LIFE

Today, I attended the funeral, of one little 5 month old baby. The sweetest little girl, with so much curly hair, just adorable. It was hard, and rewarding at the same time. I walked to the front of the chapel, with my best friend J, who recently lost her daughter to still birth, this past year. I think was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I stood there, and wrapped my arms around her, and we both cried for a few minutes, til I realized everyone was staring at us, and I started to move J to our seats.

It was amazing to watch the mother of this little girl, a woman that I had gone to school with. She sat there with a peaceful smile on her face, and after hugging her and complimenting her strength. She looked at us, and simply stated that her daughter was an angel, and she was in a much better place. I have never been more amazed by any one person in this situation. She is truly an amazing woman, and I admire her very much. I know I could never function that fully in such a tragic event.

So for today, I am grateful to be alive, to have lived, and to my health and the lives of those around me. I am truly so blessed in many areas of my life, and even though there are things that I don't understand, and may struggle with every now and then again. Thank you infertility! But I can be grateful for my life, and for the things that I have been allowed to participate in, and be a part of.

Hold your love ones close, remember that we may not have the things we want... But we always have the things we need.

Just a little over a year ago, I lost my grandmother, my most favorite person in the whole wide world. She only had two sons, my father, and my uncle. She told me constantly as I was growing up, that she would have given anything to have a little girl. Thankfully, after I was born my parents moved to Utah, and my grandmother practically raised me. I couldn't imagine what it would be like, during my grandmothers time to go through those things, not knowing what is wrong with your body. Heck, I know what's wrong with my body, and it sucks too! Although, she never was blessed with a daughter, she taught me she had been blessed with so many other ways. I can only pray, that when I am old, and unable to kick my heels, that I am proud of my life.

Thanks Grandma, for all your inspiration, and the love. We miss you!

Laura Ann Pixler

In Memory, of Desirea Anita Brown, August 2010-January 2011,

P.S. I changed my blog address, name, and everything else. HERE!!!

todays official post!

So, I have to share with you that I am seriously super anxious to change my blog, my wonderfully awesome, beautifully talented friend B is working hard on helping me with the whole new scheme.. Thanks B! All day today, I have been busy brain storming, and thinking, and just creating new ways to improve my blog, and my potential business in the near future. My poor brain hasn't had much rest. Thankfully I let my mind take a break, and I worked my body out.

Speaking of which, I have to share with you, that I have eaten very poorly these past few days.. Between baking goodies for my little sis bridal shower, and having friends over, it is been one buffet of junk food. Enough to make anyone sick with the thought of it. So I was terribly dreading stepping on the scale this morning since it had been a few days since I weighed myself.... I turned on my scale, waited for the 0 to appear, stepped on, one hand covering my eyes, and kind of peeking out through my fingers. I was shocked when I realized that I had actually lost a pound since I had weighed myself last... Wow. How lucky could I get. Mind you, this doesn't mean I am going on a junk food binge, it just reminded me I got super lucky, and that I can't let it happen again. So bring on the 30 day shred! Woot!

Now on to the good stuff, what am I grateful for today, you ask? Why, my most wonderful adoring husband. As I watched him leave the house, to take his big Border Patrol exam today, on less than 4 hours of sleep. I realized how much he really does love me. I know he wants to make things better in our lives, and to find a job that brings us more money, and great career opportunities. He is an amazing man, and I don't know what I would do with him.

Little background story. Less than 3 months of after my divorce from my first husband, I joined a dating Website.. Shortly there after I stopped using it, and forgot all about it. No worries, the story gets better. I then received an email from said Website, informing me someone had sent me an email. I was rather shocked, considering I hadn't been online in months. I quickly accessed my account, and there was an email, from this handsome stud. I sent him a text, two nights later we had our first date, on our 4th date he told me, he loved me. I then told him that evening that was way to fast for him, and I was no longer interested...What?! I know, poor judgement on my part. Well two days later, I gave into my undeniable feelings for said stud, and we were together again... Yes, ten LONG days after our first date we decided to marry... I know, I'm insane. But I tell you what I am the happiest crazy person I know!

I could never pick any one person who could compliment my personality, my wits, and my soul. He truly is the other half of my puzzle, and the one person I would breath and die for. I can't til we are old and we get to tell people of our courtship, and they drop their jaw, and raise an eyebrow or two. You rock my socks baby, and I cannot believe we have been together over years already.. I know, such a long time right? But I couldn't be happier.

Oh just in case you are wondering. Jon only lived 6 blocks from me, and I actually worked with his brother at one point, not that his brother even remembers me. But, still, it's like those others weird creepy online courtships, plus we were engaged for 6 months. In Utah standards, that's an eternity.

I love this guy, I couldn't be more grateful for any one thing in my whole life. I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to find their soulmate.

Oops...

Okay, in all honest, and in my defense, I totally remembered to get online and blog. But, I spent the majority of my afternoon, hanging out with a great set of friends! I love them! We played this game called Munchkin, Yeah... We played it for like 2 hours, and I still have no idea what happened..

Then I got carried away with talking with my Friends BB about all sorts of good things that we plan to do this year, which may involve an Etsy shop, but don't quote me on it! I am a little obsessed with my blogging, and since I don't really have anything better to do, we shall see.

I had so much going on yesterday, and it seemed like I didn't stop for one moment, church, meeting after said church, family dinner, friends, late nights, and early mornings to watch my husband leave. He got up early today, just so he could go take this border patrol exam. Cross your fingers, it would be a huge blessing for us, if he were able to pass, and go on to potentially get a job.

But for yesterday, I took a moment as we were driving, to look around me. And, although, majority of what I saw on our drive were dead deer... Yikes.. I did get a climpse at the Mountains. If you have never been to Utah, and you have never seen our Mountains, you are missing out! In those few moments that I had to spare, I realized how beautiful they were.. They may be void of anything green right now, and the overwhelming amount of snow maybe just too much. But I love them. I love the beautiful things, I have in my life. Not only nature, but those around me who just shine beautifully, who show compassion, and love for everyone.

I now it isn't an over the top kinda thing, but in days like yesterday, it's nice just to take a quick deep breath, and really look at things.


And these aren't even the prettiest, or biggest mountains we have, they are to the west of us, but still just as beautiful.

What a Day!

Holy Moses! It was one heck of a day, I was up early, after hardly sleeping, and was off finishing the details for my little sisters bridal shower. I cannot believe my little sis, is gettin' hitched. It was lots of fun, I made muddy buddies(best thing ever!) fruit kabobs, and some cupcakes.

I still think my gift was the best, who can go wrong with embrassing your sister in front of her future in-laws, with some langerie. She was just about the same shade of red, as the cute little teddy I got her.

I also spent the after noon, with two of my best friends, J and B, seriously, These ladies rock! They are helping me work on the face of blog. Oh speaking of which, I have a new name picked out, and will be changing my domain address, but no worries not for a week or so... hopefully!

So for today, I am grateful for memories, moments that are insignificant, and sometimes meanless, are the moments that I will remember always. Like making dumb faces as my mother takes the 10th picture of my sister and I. Or laughing so hard my side hurts, after I tell my friends the 'Condom Fight' my husband and I had. Which is also a long story, and will be saved for a later date and time.. I know you are probably wonder, "What the heck does an infertil want with condoms?" lol it's not what you think.

So for moments far and in between, that make your heart swell with joy, and for people who bring you those moments. Thanks!

Also a congratulations to my baby sis, I love you Jo, I cannot wait, less than two weeks!

Quite Voices

Today, is one of those days. We are a week into the new year, I think by now we should all now how the new year is going to be, and how we are going to be spending our time. Although 2010 was an espeically hard year, not only for myself, but for some other wonderful woman it has been just as hard. This morning, I was broken hearted, as I read my good friends Facebook status, yesterday, she lost her 5 month old daughter. Not even a week into the new year, and their lives were shattered.

It's moments like this, when although I am struggling with infertility, and I know that feeling of loss, it is never to the magnitude of losing your child. I am surrounded by such strong individuals, and I know that they bless my life, by sharing their strengths with me.

So for today, I am grateful for perspective, for knowing that the Lord sometimes plays a mysterious role in our lives, and we my not always fully understand that role, it is there for a reason.

For all my friends who have lost their childre, and loved ones in 2010, know that they still love you, and are watching over you.

To my best friend J, the loss of your newborn child, before she was even able to take a breath, you are an amazing woman, your strength gives me inspiration.

I am grateful for so many things in my life, and I am so grateful I choose to write about my gratitude in 2011.

I hope the start to your new year is everything that you have wanted it to be, if not, you have until the end of January to really get the ball rolling!

Shame on Me!

I know, I know... I was all proud of my self on the 4th because I had been doing so well, and then I go and blow it, what a shmuck.... So, for today I gotta pick two things to be grateful for. Which I happen to have two such things that I am currently for.

The first one being my family. For me, that includes a lot of people, even ones that I am not technically related too.. I still love them just as equaly. But to my family, I don't know where I would be without my mother, who loved me, and managed to put up with me as a teenager. Also, to my favorite sister Emily Jo, you pretty much are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without ya.

Seriously, I couldn't ask for a greater family, and although they have a few quirks, they are my family, and I wouldn't trade them for the world!

The second, would be my friends, I truly have amazing friends, and I am so grateful for the things that they have taught me, and shared with me. I continually grow from them being in my lives. Nothing brings me greater joy, than sitting around my kitchen table laughing my pants off. You know the kind of laughing where you are tearing up a little bit, and you piddled in your pants a little... Yeah that kinda of laughing.

I love these people in my life, I love knowing I have someone to turn to no matter what is going on, I have a shoulder to cry on, and someone who understands me.. Even if they are directly dealing with infertility. They always still understand loss, and grieving. I love my family, my friends, and everyone who chooses to share their lives with me. Even if it is for just a brief moment, in passing, facebook, or blogging. I truly am so blessed to have YOU, in my life!