you wanna buy a sun dial?

Alright, not the best title to a blog.. But, When you see the last photo I have posted.. You'll totally get it, and have a good laugh. Just so you know. this is really hard for me.. I know you are probably thinking to yourself- What on earth could be so difficult? Well. For starters. It is probably the first time in a very very long time I have intentionally taken a photo of my whole body. For Secondly, I am putting said photos of my body up on my blog for all the critics of the world.. So, Yes. This is hard for me. But, honest to my word, and for my modivation, and more or less having someone to answer to. This is more or less setting my self up for success... or failure... Here is hoping to success!!

Pictures from all the terrible angles included... My best friend B, was so kind as to take this photos for me.. I can honestly I am very much looking forward to the 'after' photos..

At this moment.. I am not gonna be posting my weight.. Although I am sure you were on the edge of your seat waiting for those precious numbers... Perhaps later I will feel more confident in doing so. But, as of today, January 28th I am down 7 lbs from my start weight. Here is to hoping to more motivation, and to more weight loss. I am gonna go have a glass of water, and head to bed!!

So, wanna buy a Sun Dial?lol.

Thanks B

side note, with good juju!!

See this? This terrible photo.. taken with my cheap phone.. Yeah that right there are minus signs right next to the numbers...

I am now down almost 7 inches and 6.5 lbs. and I haven't even taken my before photos!! I gotta get on that! But, I just want to brag about this because I am super proud of myself!

I hope this give ya some motivation, I have only been working on this for almost two weeks, with hardly any effort(Seriously, I have done almost nothing, just watching what I eat mainly.) Alright I am for the weekend, going to take some before photos, and get them posted on her Monday afternoon, stay tuned!!

Hallelujah!!!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!! you're not gonna believe it!!! I got my precious laptop up and running again.. for the second time.. I know, I know. I had issue with  the whole computer charger cord thingy, and thankfully that has all been resolved thanks to my in-laws. Love them!

On to other things.
*This part may be TMI, just sayin' you may wanna scroll all the way down to the bottom of the post. *

I finally decided to put on my big girl panties, and go in and have an annual done. Oh the joys of having your heels in stirrups, and a light shined at your crotch.. Thankfully this time, my best friend B recommended her nurse practitioner, Kellie, and I have to say. I really like having a female OB. I got a chance to sit down and talk with her before we decided to strip me naked. I got to express my concerns with my irregular cycles, and with my pcos, and potentially my thyroid. I had a whole list of concerns, and althought 8 weeks ago I was greatly considering using birth control to regulate my cycle. As of Monday this week, I had convinced myself to not do the birth control. We also talked about my diet, and losing weight, and managing my health issues to improve my chances of conception.

Then came the part, where she walked me to a room, pointed to the little paper cover, "put that on", and the paper sheet, "put that over your lap". Can I just tell you, I've never had an issue strippin' down to my bare bottom. But, really, being alone, in a new doctors office, stripping butt naked, and wrapping some thin paper around you, and then having to sit for 15 mins waiting for someone to come back in. Not, my idea of a fun morning. I will tell you however, the exam table I was sitting on, heated baby. I didn't notice it till I laid on my back, and thought to myself, wow my butt warmed this puppy up big time. Even though I spoke this thought out aloud, Kellie didn't even bat an eye, and shared that the table was heated for the comfort of the patients. THANK YOU!! Obviously a woman thought of this little feature.

Well, 5 quick mins later, I was told, I had no cyst or polyps in my uterus, and it was once again confirmed I have a tilted uterus. Then I was instructed to start taking prenatal vitamins.(free samples? Well don't mind if I do!) Then it was across the hall, to the lab to draw 5 viles of blood-UGH!- Where it took the sweet little gal about 5 mins to find a good vain, but man she popped those bad boys out fast. The next thing I knew, there was a 5 viles starring up at me from the equipment table. Thankfully I didn't faint, and my arm didn't hurt one bit.. It's moments like this, where I say to myself, why aren't there lollipops in the OBGYN's office?! I'm a big girl *refer to beginning of blog* I wore my big girl panties and everything! I treated myself to some granny smith apples. yum.

Now we wait. It's been over a year since we have actively have done anything about my infertility. I know that chances for me conceiving are still slim. I know that the forces of negative infertility are fighting us every step of the way. But, I am okay with that. I have excepted my infertility, and regardless of the fact that currently I cannot bare any children, or well at least I have yet to do so. It doesn't define me. I will be a mom.

I am excited for this new adventure, to be healthy, to finally get my body balanced, and to lose weight. It's time for a change, and to be happy.

I taste soap in my mouth!

First of all. This post has nothin to with soap. I serisouly taste soap in my mouth. Maybe it's due to the fact that I am terribly ashamed for my lack of blogging, I am gonna sulk over here in the corner for a moment.. Ugh.

Sulking done. Oh did you by chance see our Christmas photos? Silly me.. probably not, especially since I haven't been on here, and I have failed to post any. I can only post one, due to legal reason, and foster care.. :( All you get to look at our mine and Jon's ugly faces..
*If you're afraid of going blind.. look away now!!

Alright.. It isn't awful.. But, I wish I could post more. Until I can, this is what ya get! So, why you may ask did I decide to sit down and blog? Well.. I am starting, I am gonna change. I have started to realize I want all of these amazing things for myself, and I am not doing myself any justice, by not living healthy, and being happy in the body I want. So, screw new years resolutions, give it up for February Conquest! So, on Monday the 30th, I will post before photos, and my goals for myself and such.

I know kinda boring, but the good news is, if I can lose weight, and be healthy, committing to try again to make some babies will be a lot easier.. mainly because when it doesn't happen, I won't beat myself up for being infertile and fat. Trying to stay positive here...

Alright, well, I will write a more detailed blog in the next couple of days, but I felt I had to jump on here and get this out there to stay more committed to being healthy.

Here is to healthy living, positive self image, and to looking slammin' in a swim suit this summer! Lol, and if it doesn't happen you are NOT getting any photos of that!! Then you will go blind! LOL

when faith is enough..

I was trying to think of what to name this post.. But, you can really name something that means so much. Many of you are aware of the current situation we are in. Especially in regards to our adoption, the emotional toll, and the finanacial one as well... I never imagined at the beginning of this year.. We would be here.

Many of us in the family have really been struggling with the whole commitment of faith, considering that there are so many things that are taking place at once, and the roller coaster we seem to be on everyday. It's hard, when someone ask what we think will happen, or our odds. Now, all I can do is look at them and say. 'it's in the Lords hands.'

There are moments in life, where lets face it. Life happens. In those moments where you think you have it all figured out, and someone decides to through a wrench in the works.

This past month has been the most spiritually rewarding time in our lives. I have never felt so blessed, and so surrounded by love... It really has been moments where we have been looking over the edge... ready to jump... This quote fits us perfectly.


This really has been our moments. I have felt isolated, hurt and betrayed.. Shortly followed by humility, gratitude, and love... I can honestly say the Lord has a plan, he knows what we need... We just need to listen..

I am writting this post because I know there are a lot of people who read and have followed with a watchfull eye of the happenings in our life. Your prayers have been felt, as well as your faith. I have countless family members who bring me strength. I want them to know... Although you may feel like your faith isn't enough... Showing me that your faith is still intact.. gives me strength to push forward.. You set an example for my family, and I love you all so much.

I've spent so many moments in quite prayer, in moments where I felt I had nothing left... all I really needed was my faith.

I'd like to thank the acedemy..

First off, I wanna thank my mom, for being so supportive, and my husband for still loving me.. even after he found out I was crazy.. I have been featured on a blog. Yup. ME!! My blog, this thing you're reading right this very minute. It was featured on another blog!! I didn't even have to bribe any body! So, If you would like to go check out my featurette, you can check it out HERE.

Try to contain your excitement. I am pretty stinkin' proud of myself. If you could also take a moment and look to the left of the screen, I got a little decal to display announcing my feature! Also, I was given an award. For talking about myself...lol. Talk about giving me a big head. Alright back to reality!

What on earth was I thinking?!

So, this year for Christmas I was thinking it would be fun to make things.. You know like stockings.. and ornaments for my tree. I even thought to myself, oh I could bust this stuff out no problem! It would most certainly only take one or two days... Little did I know that the items I choose to make would take so long... Ugh. Let me show you...

First my stockings.. I found the tutorial HERE! Super easy, and they turned out pretty dang cute! Just don't look too closely or you will see all the flaws...lol.

So they took probably like two hours total to make all three.. I am proud of them..lol. and enjoy admiring them from a far...

Now the other thing I decided to make was some ornaments. I made like 4 different kinds of ornaments for our tree.. One of which was very time consuming...


You see that little ball of string? Yeah. I have made like twenty of those little guys, and it has taken days to get that much... The most time consuming part is the waiting for them to dry.. I found the idea on PINTEREST.. Oh speaking of which. If you don't know what Pinterest is, go google it. Seriously so addicting. I love it.

But, for what I was able to do, I will admit. My tree looks pretty awesome and I cannot wait to show you the whole tree. Or if you'd like you are welcome to come check it out yourself, and be jealous! Okay, I am exhausted, and I have a whole day of things to get done today... Ugh. Wish me luck!