Monday, July 25, 2011

You are probably wondering

I was just thinking to myself... You are all probably wondering about how we came to adopt Izzebel. I know I hadn't talked about it, or well I had mentioned in passing that we were open to it. Although there are many of you who read my blog, you probably still want to know.

Back in March I received a phone call from my sister, telling me she had a friend who was interested in placing her baby for adoption, and wanted to know if we were interested, and if we would like to meet her. I didn't even hesitate, and I said yes. Two days later I met our birth-mom. I look back now, and think, people don't just get a phone call like that. We weren't even going through an agency, we had thought about starting the adoption process next summer, but hadn't really gone past that.

April came, I got to go to the doctors with our birth-mom, and I heard sweet Izze's heart beat. I cried a little, and I just felt so blessed. Back while we were waiting it seemed the days, and the weeks seemed to crawl by. We told friends, and family, merely so we could have the prayers and support. But, I felt I didn't want to risk actually putting it in writing at risk of it not being true.

It truly happened so quickly, and seemed to go off without a hitch, we found a lawyer, we had an in-home study done, we did the background checks, and seriously, one thing after the next fell into place for us. It really seemed to good to be true, things like this just don't happen to people like me.

Then June was here, and we were counting the days. She was due the 11th, and that afternoon we went with the birth-mom to the park and we walked around to encourage labor. I felt so beyond blessed, I felt like we had a good relationship with her, and that things we going to be great. The next morning, before anyone could even make it to the hospital. Izzebel entered the world in the backseat of a Saturn, in the hospital parking lot. I guess at that point she really wanted to be here. We got to be the first ones into the nursery, and I got to hold her, and feed her. I don't think I have ever cried so much out of joy. It truly was so emotional in so many ways.

These last 6 weeks of Izze's little life have been the most emotional, trying, and fearful weeks, days, moments of my life. The birth mother has changed her mind, more then once, and now we are left to fight for our family. To say we are hurt is an understatement. We truly felt that love and trust was both a mutual understanding and that Izze was going to grow up knowing everyone loved her.

We are now standing at a new door, preparing to knock, and about to step forward onto our new journey. We only pray that we are brave enough to fight, and strong enough to en dour.

Again, thank you for the prayers, the support, and above all, the love. We wouldn't be here with out it.