So Live Your LIFE

Today, I attended the funeral, of one little 5 month old baby. The sweetest little girl, with so much curly hair, just adorable. It was hard, and rewarding at the same time. I walked to the front of the chapel, with my best friend J, who recently lost her daughter to still birth, this past year. I think was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I stood there, and wrapped my arms around her, and we both cried for a few minutes, til I realized everyone was staring at us, and I started to move J to our seats.

It was amazing to watch the mother of this little girl, a woman that I had gone to school with. She sat there with a peaceful smile on her face, and after hugging her and complimenting her strength. She looked at us, and simply stated that her daughter was an angel, and she was in a much better place. I have never been more amazed by any one person in this situation. She is truly an amazing woman, and I admire her very much. I know I could never function that fully in such a tragic event.

So for today, I am grateful to be alive, to have lived, and to my health and the lives of those around me. I am truly so blessed in many areas of my life, and even though there are things that I don't understand, and may struggle with every now and then again. Thank you infertility! But I can be grateful for my life, and for the things that I have been allowed to participate in, and be a part of.

Hold your love ones close, remember that we may not have the things we want... But we always have the things we need.

Just a little over a year ago, I lost my grandmother, my most favorite person in the whole wide world. She only had two sons, my father, and my uncle. She told me constantly as I was growing up, that she would have given anything to have a little girl. Thankfully, after I was born my parents moved to Utah, and my grandmother practically raised me. I couldn't imagine what it would be like, during my grandmothers time to go through those things, not knowing what is wrong with your body. Heck, I know what's wrong with my body, and it sucks too! Although, she never was blessed with a daughter, she taught me she had been blessed with so many other ways. I can only pray, that when I am old, and unable to kick my heels, that I am proud of my life.

Thanks Grandma, for all your inspiration, and the love. We miss you!

Laura Ann Pixler

In Memory, of Desirea Anita Brown, August 2010-January 2011,

P.S. I changed my blog address, name, and everything else. HERE!!!