So, this morning, Jon and I made our way to our follow-up appointment for our first round of clomid me.. With this, I was told to pee in a cup, then undress from the waist down.. The doctor failed to tell us the last time we were there, that such under goings would happen, thankfully I showered, and was clean when I got there..
We talked about the clomid, and ultimately came to the conclusion that I had failed to ovulate, and that I was indeed not pregnant. It was a hit in the stomach, and rather depressing to hear the doctor say those words, when deep inside I already knew the answer.
I have yet to start my period, so the doctor was oh so kind enough to prescribe me some medication to get it going, and then he upped the dosage of clomid, to 100mg.
I am not happy about this. One because that means more hot flashes, and two because this means the side effects are going to be that much worse.
I am bummed that I have to go through this again, I feel like I am setting the stage for pending failure. Like I am getting ready to wrap it up in a nice shiny bow.
I hope it works this time, or I at least ovulate..
It might be a while before I write again, considering that all I feel when I write is more resentment towards my infertility.
Monday, August 2, 2010
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2 comments:
It sounds like you and I are in the same boat with everything, almost. I'm here if you need to talk!
So sorry for that extreme disapointment.
And I just want to say that having someone suggest adoption while you are in the depths IF sorrow is like a someone handing you a bandaid to care for your gun shot wound. The timing is just horrendous and it is obvious that people just don't know how insensitive it is unless they have been there themselves - (or they have already adopted, which is a great testament to the fact that happiness can be found so many ways) I think adoption is a beautiful, wonderful thing - but adoption should be seen as one of the paths to parenthood, not a cure for infertility.
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