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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Infertility Bug..

It showed it's ugly head once again.. For the past few days it has really been snubbing it in my face.. You know that pregnancy cycle.. Where like every few months another group of ladies gets pregnant... Well it's that time again, and it just so happens to be the same time where it's practically every single friend on facebook... :( Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled for all of my friends... but lets face it..

...it still sucks..

I hate this feeling more than anything, and I know that a lot of my friends went through infertility as well.. The only difference, they have all been able to get pregnant. I hope all my infertile friends reading this don't take this the wrong way, and I hope you don't think I am mad at you. I'm not. I am just having a pity party..:( it just came a little early this year.

We are fast approaching our 3rd year anniversary, and I fear that it may be the 3rd of many many annisersaries that we will once again not bare our own children. I know I am a mom, I know Miss Izz, is my little girl, but even that hangs in the balance.

I guess more than anything it feels like we have been pushed into the corner with few options, and that it doesn't seem to be getting any better...


I know with everything that is going on in my life, school, work, fostercare.. having more children should probably be the last thing on my mind. lol.. But, all I want is to be a mom, and to have more children, and nothing is more frustrating that not knowing if you will ever have your own family.

I've come along way since we started this journey.. I can actually go without having to test if my period is a day late.. in fact, I have a pregnancy test sitting in my bathroom that has been there for like 2 months now! lol. That probably seems like the dumbest thing ever.. but for me, it's a big deal! And if you know another infertile, or are one yourself, you know what kinda deal this is!

Alright, getting up and walking away from Face book, and the preggers..:( unless a pregnant woman wants to come sneeze on me in the hope of concieving.. I am just sayin'!


3 comments:

just waite

sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sending you thousands millions of sneezes your way.

I'm sorry your having a down day. I have my fingers crossed for you and hubby. I know that there is a little spirit waiting to join your family.

Sneeze,

Sneeze,

Sneeze,

Sneeze,

and just in case SNEEZE, SNEEZE!

Love you hon! I will sneeze all over you so that I can see a little walking talking mini you.

SNEEZE!

~Meg~

I am so glad you posted this!!! I really needed to hear(read)that someone else is struggling with this...STILL. Not that I am glad you are sad...just glad that I'm not the only one! And after all our research we KNOW we aren't the only ones...yet we feel like we are. I too don't mean to offend anyone who I know that is currently 'with child'...but my heart is aching too about this topic. I agree with you on the whole having more children should probably be the last thing on my mind...I seriously don't know if I could financially make it with another one...yet I cry that I am not pregnant & that my body is dysfunctional! Next time you are having a pity party...PLEASE invite me! Ya know-misery loves company! Hope you feel better about this subject later...and if-nah-WHEN you do...feel free to sneeze my way in hopes that your positivity will be contagious! *Loves to you (& your infertile body)*

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