Monday, January 31, 2011

It's a GREAT day to be alive!

I know you have all be anxiously awaiting my last post of the month, concluding my month of gratitude, but somehow I have a feeling this isn't going to be my last gratitude entry. I spent the majority of my day sorting through boxes.. Not, just any old junk box, that you stuffed under your bed last year, and have been ignoring. No, these boxes are full of genealogy.

When I was growing up, there was one thing my grandmother loved more than cooking, or her grandchildren, it was genealogy. My grandparents had an entire room dedicated to this, not to mention the 3 computer, and 2 newspaper scanners-you know the kind at the library that are really fun to play around with. Yes, it was an obsession for her. I even remember not even really being allowed in the genealogy room, cause heaven forbid any of us kids messed something up. Needless to say, I've spent the last two days sitting on my living room floor sorting through boxes, pictures, and thousands of hand written notes that my grandmother scratched out all her thoughts. I cried a little as I opened the first box, and I could smell that room again, the dust, and old paper smell. I felt as if I were standing in that little room again staring at the stacks of paper.

I love that my grandmother kept so many things, I am pretty sure, every letter sent and received in regards to her heritage was kept, not to mention hundreds of pictures, of faces I don't even recognize. Or how she managed to keep my little doodles from when I was 3, she even dated them. Now, obviously I don't have a lot of room for my grandmothers things, and a lot of unnecessary books will be donated to good-will. But, I managed to make a huge dent and went from a dozen boxes to about 8. In my defense, she has a lot of binders, chuck full of tons of stuff.

My grandmother was amazing, and up til her memory began to fail her, along with her health. She truly accomplished so many things. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined I would be sitting her surrounded by her work, attempting to make sense of my family history nearly 20 years after my earliest memory of that genealogy room.

Before I came to earth, I made a decision to join a family, to be apart of a lineage, and I can honestly say, I am so blessed, and grateful to be me. I am grateful to have a testimony in my faith, to know I am sealed to my husband for eternity, and I am so grateful to know that although my infertility has hindered me from having my own children, one day in the near future, I will kneel across the alter once again with my husband, and we will be sealed to our adopted children. I can be mad at my infertility, or I can rejoice in the knowledge, that whether they are my biological children or not, I will be sealed to them forever.

Be thankful to be you, for the people in you life, and for every breath you take. You are able to walk, talk, express yourself, and to love unconditionally.

I am so glad I took this month to remind myself what I am truly grateful for, and how blessed I am in so many areas of my life, and for once, I truly feel that my dreams will be accomplished, and more than ever to I feel self worth, and comfort. Thanks for helping me on my journey, and I as far as I can tell, it's going to be a wonderful year.